• oyfrog@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    my favorite feature is that it’s a smart device—you connect it with your phone via proprietary app and it tells you the temperature of your counter top. Also for a low monthly subscription fee it will also recite the screen play of a random episode of friends in 4 languages simultaneously, none of which are English, Spanish, Arabic, or Mandarin.

    • SternburgExport@feddit.de
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      4 months ago

      Man I really hope that app requires an active internet connection and a registered account. And it would be real nice if the app wasn’t optimized at all and support would end after 3 updates.

          • grue@lemmy.world
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            4 months ago

            Look, just because Elon Musk can’t choose an alloy properly doesn’t mean nobody can do it. Hell, even DeLorean managed it, and he was dealing with both cocaine and the Troubles at the same time!

    • Prison Mike@links.hackliberty.org
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      4 months ago

      Love the proprietary app! I spent several months cobbling together a bunch of Docker containers that each apply a bundle of hacks I built through reverse engineering! Now I can control it via Home Assistant but I hope some guy that built one of the Docker images doesn’t disappear in six months when the manufacturer completely wrecks all our work with an API update!

      • PenisWenisGenius@lemmynsfw.com
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        4 months ago

        You could try the redneck thing. That’s where you gut all the circuitry, make it so there’s exposed wires everywhere and every time you want to use it, touch whichever wires together. If you get it wrong it catches on fire but at least there’s no longer a username and password.

    • gigachad@sh.itjust.works
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      4 months ago

      I love the live location feature, so that I never lose track of my kitchen cube. You can see where it is and how it’s doing even from remote. Always have an eye on my cube when at work.

    • boonhet@lemm.ee
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      4 months ago

      Obviously the languages are Estonian, Finnish, Latvian and Lithuanian.

      Except for the Finnish + Baltic region, where the languages are actually Tagalog, Swahili, Navajo and the most popular option, x86 assembly for outputting the text of the episode in Haitian Creole. The latter is the most popular because of how insanely fast they have to speak.

    • dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      Personally, I’m a fan of the rumble notification feature. Pair it with your phone and it’ll rumble in response to a random notification on your phone at least once a day. Best part is: it kinda shakes the whole house and will sometimes shuffle itself into the floor so you can’t ignore it! Yeah, I’ve had to replace some tile, but it’s totally worth it.

    • errer@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      Being able to report the temperature is way too useful for a useless steel block. I’d pay $10/month for a block that truly does nothing.

  • randint@lemmy.frozeninferno.xyz
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    4 months ago

    Assuming that the 80-pound (36.3 kg) stainless steel block is a solid cube, its side length would only be 16.6 cm (6.5 inches). (The density of the most common stainless steel (304) is 7930 kg/m^3.) Not nearly as big as the picture suggests. Still, it seems like it would be an awesome addition to my kitchen.

  • Bytemeister@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    Modern appliances just aren’t as good. Check with Goodwill, or yard/estate sales. You can pick up a vintage kitchen cube that works just as well for pennies on the dollar, and it will outlast you.

    • ZeffSyde@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      I still have my great grandma’s cast iron kitchen cube that she brought over from the old country.

      I can’t even describe what that thing can do with pork chops.

    • SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      Because you are not accounting for inflation. A modern kitchen cube made in the same quality as a vintage cube would cost one cubic meter of pennies.

  • PenisWenisGenius@lemmynsfw.com
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    4 months ago

    I bought one of these when they first came out and they’re a piece of shit. It stopped working just a little bit after the warranty expired.

  • solsangraal@lemmy.zip
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    4 months ago

    this is fucking hilarious. it’s exactly as functional as the gigantic kitchenaid mixer that my housemate INSISTS that it stay on the kitchen counter even though it hasn’t been used in 5+ years. apparently for some people it’s absolutely imperative that anyone who happens to come to the house MUST be made aware that we have a fucking kitchenaid mixer

      • ZeffSyde@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        No shit. My mom got a kitchen aid from my aunt and it has day unused under a hideous floral pattern dust cover because it was white and not pink like she wanted.

        Next to the unused bread machine which is next to the George Foreman grill which is next to the panini press…

    • MiDaBa@lemmy.ml
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      4 months ago

      I had an ex who insisted on this setup. Apparently Kitchenaid has somehow been able to convince people this is an decorative status symbol. As an appliance I’ve never seen one in action and I’ve seen many of them.

      • dual_sport_dork 🐧🗡️@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        decorative status symbol

        Of course it is. That’s why it comes in so many color options. Including “limited edition” ones which I find equal parts hilarious and infuriating.

        Anyway, Smeg probably holds the crown for that sort of thing currently. Check this out. Notice that they won’t even show you the price at first. That’s because it’s got a UMRP of $2000.

      • solsangraal@lemmy.zip
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        4 months ago

        it does the same thing you would normally do with your hands, except it takes 50 times longer

    • Aasikki@sopuli.xyz
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      4 months ago

      My 50 year old Kenwood mixer stays on the counter for one reason only and that’s because it’s too goddamn heavy to be lifting back and forth. Also I sometimes get inspired to bake just from seeing it on the counter, which is a nice plus.

  • Feredir@feddit.de
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    4 months ago

    Reminds me of the reployer from Prey. Every office has one of these machines but seemingly no one knows what they actually do - not even engineers.

    • solsangraal@lemmy.zip
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      4 months ago

      such a great underrated game. the true successor to system shock 2 that bioshock attempted

    • PenisWenisGenius@lemmynsfw.com
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      4 months ago

      wtf. My last office job had 2 of these, I never thought about it before. I don’t recall ever seeing anyone use them but some corporate maintenence guy would come inspect them twice a year.

  • Snapz@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    IKEA version takes up same amount o counterf space, but the core is made of cardboard, so lightweight!

  • Buffalox@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    10/10 for functionality, it does exactly what it’s supposed to, and it does it well.
    Highly recommended.

    • original2@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      Like… Maybe a 17cm side cube… I would cast it and just finished it on my old manual milling machine

  • imPastaSyndrome@lemm.ee
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    4 months ago

    The exact dimensions of an 80-pound stainless steel block would depend on its specific shape. However, we can estimate its size based on the density of stainless steel, which is around 490 lbs per cubic foot (lb/ft³). To find the volume of the block, we can divide its weight (80 lbs) by its density (490 lb/ft³):

    Volume = Weight / Density. Volume = 80 lbs / 490 lb/ft³. Volume ≈ 0.16 cubic feet (ft³).

    Since we don’t have a specific shape for the block, let’s assume it’s a cube for simplicity. To calculate the side length of a cube with a volume of 0.16 ft³, we can take the cube root of the volume:

    Side length = ³√Volume.
    Side length = ³√0.16 ft³.
    Side length ≈ 0.54 ft (or about 6.5 inches).

    Therefore, an 80-pound stainless steel block shaped like a cube would have sides measuring around 6.5 inches each.

      • imPastaSyndrome@lemm.ee
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        4 months ago

        Well fuck you.

        Edit: Sorry. That makes sense, I just was thinking about that tiny heavy cube you can buy that’s like the densest cube of metal and I wanted to get the math done because it was ENTIRELY too big in the photo in my estimation, and why would it be hollow? To take up more space sure but it would dent and be so much harder to produce but I GUESS I get it. UGH

        Didn’t feel like doing the math for a hollow one myself so I asked bing to do it for me assuming it was about 10 inches in diameter (that’s what I guessed from the photo because it looked to be approximately as wide as one burner(?) it’d be 72% hollow