- Most outrageous / unbelievable lies
- Most offensive / dangerous lies
- Most “adult meant it as genuine advice but it’s laughably out of touch” lies
- Lies you wish you still believed
- Lies you took as truth and didn’t question it until you were way too old
We were learning Roman numerals in elementary school and the teacher made us work out the current year.
I was the first one to correctly work out “MCMXCVIII” only to be then to be quite smugly told by the teacher that you can just do “IIMM”. Only after more than a decade later did I learn that he was full of shit and my answer was the only correct one.
I still don’t have square eyes even though I was sitting in front of screens my whole life.
Also “What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger“ is really bad advice.
Not a lie in that I think this was the truth for them (because me and my siblings are awesome), but: “having kids is amazing.”
Mine are teenagers and I feel horrible saying it but it’s still hard for me to be a parent the same way my parents were. I’m not nearly as patient. I don’t think I’ve slept well for over a decade. My sex life with my partner is non-existent for quite a while. I feel like all I do is work, serve, and sleep.
Maybe it’ll get better. I’m not having a good time, though. Neither are neurotypical. I don’t know if I am either, the more I read about it. Poooooo
But all my friends tell me it’s awesome to have kids while they all have struggling finances and marriages! Because it’s for the kids!
There are plenty of families where it’s working out great.
It’s a waste of money and a bs poster for what your life should be. F kids.
“If you put some blu-tak on the top of the SNES version of Mortal Kombat, it will think it’s the Mega Drive version and put the blood back in.”
Even young me knew this one was weapons-grade bollocks, but it didn’t stop kids at school excitedly trying it.
“Penguins are mammals” said to me as an offhand comment by a friend’s older brother. I didn’t question it till embarrassingly late in life.
“It’s ok we (white people) took the land from the Indians because we make better use of it, and can sustain a much larger population on it.” Said by my teacher to the third grade class.
“You’ll become more conservative as you get older” heard this one quite a bit from people who didn’t wanna face facts about the world.
“Global warming is a myth” oh if only that were true. We’re so fucked
See first answer. Seriously, they’re obviously birds!
“You’re just having a brother fight. You and your brother are going to grow up to be best friends.”
No, my autistic brother with FASD who was my rapist, and is a kleptomaniac, sociopath, pathological liar, and borderline pedophile… will never be my friend in adulthood.
Oh…wow
Teachers’ ramblings in Turkey and Texas.
- Gokturk Khaganate was NOT “the biggest empire in history.”
- Ottoman empire did NOT essentially rule the world.
- Genies aren’t gonna bully me if I don’t memorize my Surahs.
- World is not 6000 years old, and there weren’t giant humans everywhere.
- North Korea did not kill more people than all ideologies “including Nazis” combined.
(Also uncountably many from my weird matt walsh phase in highschool)
Eating watermelon seeds will make you pregnant
commies help the workers
“You’ll become more conservative as you get older.”
I have consistently grown more and more leftist as I’ve grown older. Rent goes up faster than taxes. [redacted] your landlord.
Heard this one a lot, guess they figured everyone would go the fuck you got mine attitude of the boomers, not realizing that you can’t onboard the youth while maintaining full unmasked racism and marginalizing the value of the same youths perspectives. Another one is “you’ll understand when you’re older” which to the surprise of no one thing he “when you’re older” part never matures in discussions with these types.
I heard this one too. Maybe it used to be more true than now?
It’s probably true on average. As you get older, chances are some of the things you fought for when you were younger are now the new normal, and further change is something you’re more skeptical about.
But definitely not something that’s going to apply to every individual, plus when the world is mostly regressing as it is right now, the whole effect should disappear.
Is this “Conservative” as in the political affiliation though, or “moderate/cautious”? I think one thing is that current “Conservatives” are anything but
“If you eat too many sweets, you’ll get blue intestines.”
No further explanation, but I made damn sure mine didn’t get blue! Also, I tell the same lies to my kids now.
Could be true. How do you even know?
😅. Like, what do I care about the color of my innards?
But what if I wanted them blue?
Women absolutely detest facial hair, and if you have any facial hair it’s an indication you are nothing more than a bum.
Meanwhile, discovered that women go absolutely bonkers for facial hair, I once had a woman break up with me in our early courting phase because I shaved my beard.
*Groomed facial hair.
I’m going to just disagree with you based on my personal experience. The more unkempt my facial hair is, the more women are drawn to me. And if they are near ovulating, they go freaking bonkers for shaggy facial hair.
In fairness to your point though, even when I’m shaggy I’m still kind of “baseline” groomed so I’m not sure if that counts. I tend to groom by habit a little more than the average dude.
I think it is much more important to groom your facial hair if it is… let’s say “sparse”. If I let my beard grow “wild” you just see how patchy it is 😆 If I keep it very short and trim the edges it looks presentable.
My parents told me they put our cat up for adoption (it was a feral cat that only liked me) after I left home for university. My brother later accidentally let it slip they had the cat put down. I’ve never really forgiven them for that.
I would be devastated. I’m so sorry…
I never would.
You have to have a college degree or you will be poor and struggling your whole life.
Ah yeah.
orand*
We are the good guys.
