Nah, I’d be that guy that had just enough money to make life look easy to all the wagies. I’d have some bs job, a nice but modest house. As those around me age prematurely from the stresses of capitalism I’ll just be there, making a good life look effortless.

Every now and then a look of pity and derision will flash across my face. My friends won’t consciously clock this. But subconsciously they’ll know. Know that I’m hashtagged blessed, and they stay up at night thinking about how to keep them bills paid.

Far douchier than a laser suit.

Ohhh I’d have made such a good trust fund baby! I feel I really missed my calling in life.

Ya, I put mint on a rig for my aunt, didn’t even tell her it wasn’t windows. Granted all she ever uses is the browser, but she seems happy with it. 10/10

We don’t have time for a handjob!

I’ve been switching between PCP and angel dust for years. Just when I feel I’m becoming addicted to one I just switch, and I’m totally sane, maybe even THE MOST sane person. I should run for president!

Such a helpful kitty!

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Phalups

Lol at least she had a plan!

Kitties are perfect. Any “crime” is just an unfortunate miscommunication.

Omg, I’m a bus driver and this is my number one pet peeve.

Russia and Iran stole a drone a few years back. They did it by jamming and spoofing gps signals

Straight to the gulag with you!

That looks good AF. I may have spaghetti tonight

It was easier when everywhere was a cloud of tobacco smoke anyway. Your weed smoke would just kinda get lost in it.

Idk, but “u’re” gave me a minor aneurysm

Have you tried water with ice?

I worked the potato harvest in north Dakota for a lot of years. Cold muddy work. Definitely “built character”

We used to have bits of paper with lines representing geography