Some Republicans are starting to seriously regret Donald Trump’s vice presidential nominee, Ohio Senator J.D. Vance.
It’s been only one week since Vance was nominated at the Republican National Convention, and already his own party members are expressing severe doubts about Trump’s pick. The former president’s allies have acknowledged that nominating Vance was the product of Trump’s absolute certainty that he would be able to defeat Joe Biden in November. While Vance wouldn’t do much for swing voters or independents, he would likely shore up support among Trump’s base.
But ever since Biden passed the torch to Vice President Kamala Harris, the Democratic Party’s new presumptive nominee, Republicans have begun to sour on Vance.
“The road got a lot harder. He was the only pick that wasn’t the safe pick. And I think everyone has now realized that,” one House Republican told Axios Thursday, under the condition of anonymity.
Another House Republican told Axios that Vance “doesn’t add much.”
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The sectional predator himself
“I did not have sectional relations with that sofa”
“Sectional” fuckin hell dude 🤣
God damn, couch - that’s some hoe shit!
Holy fuck, thank you for that laugh
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Again, there is ZERO evidence that JD Vance has reached earth-shattering orgasm in the loving embrace of a two-piece sectional, or that he has had a wild fling or two with wicker outdoor patio furniture. NONE. He certainly has not done so while making disgusting claims about gay people.
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This is probably how furries became popular. People saw that Monty Python skit about the mice men and thought it was funny and started dressing up.
Does JD fuck couches? A lot of people are saying it. The best people. They keep saying it so there must be some truth to it. Just the other day I asked him so you prefer leather, right? It’s so smooth. It’s durable. It’s perfect! He looked me dead in the eye and said, “polyester”. It’s so rough though! That’s why he needs the glove!
JD “Nothing finer than a sofa recliner” Vance
More cushion for the pushin!
I’m late to the party. What’s up with all that couch fucking?
There was a made-up rumor that his book has an excerpt about fucking a couch…But the memes have been fire so no one cares that it’s false. He’s now a couch fucker.
You can build a million bridges, but you fuck one single couch, no one calls you a bridge builder.
Ok that’s pretty fucking funny. Has anybody already made R34 of that?
You’re welcome to go look, I’m certainly not going to.
That’s so gross. Which websites though?
Live action bigmouth confirmed, unfortunately.
He prefers the term Furniture Fondler.
I think he’s a natural pairing with Donald Trump, the philanderer. They can bring one girl back home without it getting “weird.”
Richard Gere’s gerbil approved
No, we’!re talking about the asshole who has plenty of real things to criticize without lowering ourselves to Republican-level antics by repeating random lies from some idiot’s Twitter account.
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Just do the real stuff like his dolphin fetish!
Hey there’s no proof of that!
It’d be hilarious if a whisper campaign about couch-fuckin’ is what stopped fascism…
i adore that he will live out the rest of his days being known as j.d. the couch fucking mascara muffin man vance
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your cause is noble, but the outrage over mascara man vance bashing is misguided. “punching down” is insulting race, sexuality, gender, disability, and any other thing that no one chooses for themselves*. makeup is 100% a choice, for everyone. in vance’s example it’s a ridiculous choice, given the requisite strictly defined GOP persona of the “manly man,” which obviously doesn’t involve men wearing makeup. so vance will be mocked for it.
where’s the outrage over making fun of trump’s orange spray tan? guliani’s hair dye leaking forehead?
and if you’re going to bring “gendered insult” into the conversation, then exactly who is arguing under the flawed premise that mascara is just for women, if not the person calling the insult gendered?
don’t worry, i make fun of many, many choices people make, from cartoonishly huge pickup trucks, to cargo shorts
*edit: apparently “punching down” is generally defined to mean attacking people ‘less powerful’ than yourself. i’m still including unchosen circumstances in my usage
You’re a monster. How could you make fun of cargo shorts?
LOL it’s not just me. how many women do you know who don’t think cargo shorts make us look like clowns?
They stop laughing when I pull an entire Chinese dinner for five out of those cargo shorts. Y’all sneak in your candy to the movies. I’ll do it my way.
My mom says they make me look handsome and agrees that it’s neat that I can carry all the sticks and rocks we find at the park!
you do you champ!
The liberal urge to make sure a racist misogynist narcissistic fascist is comfortable in their spaces
Really feels like Vance is being set up as the fall guy to blame when trump loses.
“If he had just picked someone else as VP, he would’ve won!” -conservatives in five months
It’s amusing you think Republicans will do anything but say the election was stolen by the left.
Yeah, it’s actually not possible for me to imagine Republicans losing the presidency again without claiming fraud. Even if saying that directly stops playing as well, they will just move onto softer language about it. Like when they went from being directly racist to claiming all problems are certain immigrants’ fault.
They will “just ask questions” about particular states’ results. I don’t think we will come back from that. It may even bleed over to Democrats saying it eventually, just because it’s so established in the zeitgeist that it’s possible, some lesser thinking Dems may run with it.
Notice how none of them hesitate to do this shit now. It’s because they’ve started to internalize that democracy is bad because it doesn’t give their party the advantages they feel entitled to.
They’ll do both
They’ll say both. Cognitive dissonance isn’t a problem for Trump voters.
Yea. There’s a word for that. It’s called losing.
Vance brings no new votes to the table. He is really just there because Peter Thiel agreed to donate to the campaign if Trump made him VP. When Biden was still in, the GOP believed that the election was as good as won so they didn’t believe they need to appeal to anyone else. Now that Kamala is running, the initial reaction and polling is showing that this race isn’t going to be easy for the GOP and Vance looks like a shitty pick.
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And JD Vance has earned all the hate MAGA is going to send his way. Bending the knee may give short term gain, but it will ultimately ruin your life and legacy, like a whole list of these lifelong Republicans. The Lindsay Graham’s and Ted Cruz’s who took Trump’s abuse and just cowered like the pathetic people they are.
MAGA will be in the history books beside the confederates as the traitor party.
Bold of you to assume they’re ever going to admit having lost. How else will they rationalize another attempted coup?
Really feels like Vance is being set up as the fall guy to blame when trump loses.
He was the bag man for Cryptobros. Trump puts him on the ticket and the money flows into the Trump campaign.
Now it’s looking like a raw deal, as Trump has to spend all that new money defending his hideous little troll of a VP.
“If he had just picked someone else as VP, he would’ve won!” -conservatives in five months
Missed a perfectly good opportunity to run a horny VP like Kristi Noem or Laura Boebert or Hope Hicks.
Still would have lost, but at least we wouldn’t need Vance’s mug all over the TV.
No I think Trump and team figured they had this in the bag and no need to pick anyone else that could appeal to the normies. They are all in on MAGA and gods willing it explodes in their faves
Maybe Trump will get them to hang him.
When Trump loses, what’s the worse that can happen to JD Vance?
It’s not like Trump is going to send a mob to kill his vice president running mate. Oh wait.
I hope mascara isn’t toxic to leopards!
As long as they lose I’m not sure I care who they blame it on.
Don’t worry, the qons will always find a cop-out. This is the bunch that were suddenly full of “independents” who never even heard of this W guy after Iraq was so obviously a gigantic clusterfuck and who never even heard of this Romney guy after he got spanked by a Blah guy.
No, these people were suddenly teabaggers that were deep into this “tea party” that never was a thing before being made a thing by Faux and friends. Also, don’t call them “teabaggers”, they never, ever used that term for themselves (and don’t go looking around for any proof of this or anything. Just believe the teabaggers, er, I mean the “tea party members” of this so-called truth).
Blame everyone but Trump.
"Vance does worse in his home region at -16 points than he does in the average of all polls… So the people who know him best, the region that knows him best, they like him even less than America likes him.”
— Polling analyst Harry Enten, on CNN
Plus, betting markets have opened up on if he’ll be retained on the ticket.
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Memers should be reimbursed.
Plus, betting markets have opened up on if he’ll be retained on the ticket.
I’m not a betting man but I pretty much came to the comments to see if anyone else thought this too. “We” showed it’s “ok” to drop out this close to the election so I 100% believe they’re going to do the same with him and they can just have fox news say “the Democrats already did it so we’re doing it to get back at them!” because if there’s one thing maga loves more than beating up on (insert non cis/white/male people) it’s revenge.
Actually makes me wonder whether they’ll try to pressure Trump to quit, for these same reasons.
I mean, he definitely won’t quit, but they might try.
Even if they weren’t evil pieces of shit, they’d have every right to change the VP if they want.
So how many Scaramucci’s to each Vance?
2 Trusses tops
And yet he still won a Senate seat. 😬😬😬
I like him better than I like Trump, but then I want them to lose. I would vote for the corpse of Richard Nixon before I considered voting for either of them.
James Donald Bowman is his birth name. Tired of this ‘woke’ changing names agenda!
Wait… so the Republican ticket is James Donald and Donald John? Those fucking nerds.
What if we combine them? James Donald John TRANce. Think that’ll bring out more GOP voters?
I’m up for combining them, but only if it’s in some sort of weird human-centipede situation.
So where does the Vance part come in? Sounds like he wants to be an edgy pop guitar solo artist.
Let’s not jump to conclusions until we get the couche’s side of the story.
Would that cushion the blow?
It ought to man.
So far, soooo good.
I guess I’m dumb or ignorant, but what’s the reference here?
Edit: nevermind, explained further down the thread
Ahem, they ended up pulling that article… presumably because he actually did have sex with a couch.
They pulled it because they can’t actually know if he did or didn’t. Good to see some journalistic integrity! Lol
Your reason is the correct one… but I am happy to keep repeating that it’s because Vance is actually a sectional predator.
Can’t prove a negative!
Many people are saying that JD did NOT fuck that couch. But then, many people are asking…I don’t know, were you THERE?
🤣
Between you and me… I think he did it
I both love and hate that this headline exists.
The bigger the cushion…
They needed a running mate with a name similar to Pence so that Demented Donald could remember it.
I do outside sales in Ohio and I’m on the road a lot
The amount of people who have Trump / Pence signs and have put white tape over the P and E to make a V and A is … Surreal. Like why do you still have signs from an election 8 years ago? Their house is probably full of cats and hoard and bugs. Can’t wait to get updated signs?
It is a cult. Really pathetic how they hate other Americans so much they’ll burn the country down to make sure they’re miserable.
At least they’re recycling, I guess.
I’m in California. No one who has a Trump sign is spending money for a new one.
I mean, his last VP pick had lightning powers. This one fucks couches. That’s a hell of a downgrade.
lightning powers? I’m ootl
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oh… yeah; just never heard conversion therapy described as “lightning powers”…
There were a lot of memes involving mike pence having lightning powers, and often fighting anything gay with electricity. IIRC this all came from him allegedly advocating for electroshock therapy as a method of conversion therapy (which snopes said is false, and that’s as much research as I’m putting into a tangent on meme history)
i know about his conversion therapy thing; missed the memes apparently.
Well…if he’s fucking hard enough maybe he can generate some static discharge.
Oh, I’m sure there’s some discharge.
Poor JD, his grandma really did hate him for being a burdensome piece of shit.
And for what he did to her favorite sofa. He even took off the plastic cover - just raw digging it with no protection.
It’s amazing how much Trump got played. The democrats had to know Biden was going to drop out when they scheduled the earliest presidential debate in history. It was all a show so people would demand Biden drop out before he actually dropped out.
And not only did Trump agree to it (cause his ego told him he would dominate), now he’s picked a god awful VP pick cause he thought he knew who his opponent was.
I love this but no way our Democrat leadership thought that far ahead.
Ha, yeah. I’ve been a registered Democrat since I was 18. No freaking way they tried at something so hard like that.
To be fair, for all we know you’re 19.
I’m more cynical about the DNC than anybody but - people daydream all the time about what could happen in the future if this or that happens. Some asshole right winger started daydreaming about taking over the Supreme Court back in the 1970s and it doesn’t mean that he planned it all out but you can still think about the next few moves to be ready if the opportunity arises.
Somebody in the DNC imagined this scenario many months/years ago and talked about it to their bosses. Gaming out the possibilities and having the slide deck ready is how wild, game changing moves like this end up happening.
The democrats had to know Biden was going to drop out when they scheduled the earliest presidential debate in history.
Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.
You’re talking an extraordinary amount of stupidity vs a moderate amount of planning.
If this election can teach us anything, if you live in a bubble then you have some incredibly stupid blind spots.
Are you saying that the people running the Democratic Party live in a bubble?
The democratic party has as many bubbles as they have geriatric candidates. A candidate manages their staff, but the staff can also manage the candidate and it creeps into elderly abuse at a certain point. Look at Diane Feinstein or RBG: two people who should have retired but their staff didn’t want to loose their relative power so they filter what their boss sees. I’m sure the same is true for Trump. Biden at least has Pelosi to pull his head from his ass and showed him the real numbers his staff wasn’t showing.
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You are giving way to much credit to the capability of the democratic leadership.
While I’m normally inclined to agree, this presidential debate was both historic in how early it was and historic in how bad Biden performed. There is no reason to be this aggressive about scheduling unless they know he’s either going to fail epically, or succeed epically.
The only thing historic is about how utterly convinced that people are that Biden was awful in it.
I watched the debate. He wasnt 1/100th as awful as everyone has seemingly hallucinated themselves into thinking thanks to an endless avalance of propaganda screaming “BIDEN FAILED/INCOMPETENT,HUMILIATED/ETC”
The most awful thing about the fucking debate is the moderator kept letting trump go off on rants and not correcting/stoping him. Bidens performance isnt even in the top 3.
People are allowed to have different opinions. Yours just happens to be in the minority.
Yeah, its amazing how that happens when you focus on facts and ignore groupthink and feels.
For sure, like you and I both focus on facts (even though in this case it is 100% subjective how you think he performed) and I for sure ignore groupthink and feels as well and we both have different opinions. It’s aMaZiNg!
What are they talking about? Vance secures the couch fucker vote.
If you were an extreme project 2025 republican, Vance would have been the perfect candidate assuming that 1. The democrats would throw the election by running Biden with failing health. And 2. That Trump would die of a heart attack in a few years.
I legitimately can’t think of another reason why they would have picked him. The Trump campaign and project 2025 were counting on both those facts being true.
It’s actually sadder. Trump doesn’t want a VP that can claim any credit for his electoral victory. If he picked anyone that people will say “strengthened him”, he’d hate that.
Pride goeth before the fall.
He also just wants a yes man, he REALLY didn’t like that Pence found his conscience while he was cleaning up after the election and didn’t go along with “the election was stolen and thus Donald Trump is still president”. Vance has no political compass - he has a weathervane that points towards whatever he thinks will get him power, so that’s perfect.
And 2. That Trump would die of a heart attack in a few years.
Yeah, but donnie is/was a project 2025 guy. Was he on board with that aspect of things? With his diet/exercise plan, maybe he is? 🤣
I love that there’s literally a video of Vance calling Trump a horrible person and they still picked him. Plus the whole couch-fucking thing. Good stuff.
A meme in our last local election for governor was, “Mark Ronchetti Fucks Dogs. Bad for dogs, bad for New Mexico.”
It was hugely successful. He was actively being cyber bullied on Twitter.
Look at all those signs, maybe they can sue the GOP for a refund.
his previous VP was lame too, he wants the show all for himself
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Porque no los dos?
I assume Trump’s only criteria was whoever swore the hardest that they wouldn’t interfere with his next insurrection
Correct, he picked the one guy who did not try to stop him from putting the fork in the electric socket
