Some Republicans are starting to seriously regret Donald Trump’s vice presidential nominee, Ohio Senator J.D. Vance.
It’s been only one week since Vance was nominated at the Republican National Convention, and already his own party members are expressing severe doubts about Trump’s pick. The former president’s allies have acknowledged that nominating Vance was the product of Trump’s absolute certainty that he would be able to defeat Joe Biden in November. While Vance wouldn’t do much for swing voters or independents, he would likely shore up support among Trump’s base.
But ever since Biden passed the torch to Vice President Kamala Harris, the Democratic Party’s new presumptive nominee, Republicans have begun to sour on Vance.
“The road got a lot harder. He was the only pick that wasn’t the safe pick. And I think everyone has now realized that,” one House Republican told Axios Thursday, under the condition of anonymity.
Another House Republican told Axios that Vance “doesn’t add much.”
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The sectional predator himself
“I did not have sectional relations with that sofa”
“Sectional” fuckin hell dude 🤣
God damn, couch - that’s some hoe shit!
Holy fuck, thank you for that laugh
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Again, there is ZERO evidence that JD Vance has reached earth-shattering orgasm in the loving embrace of a two-piece sectional, or that he has had a wild fling or two with wicker outdoor patio furniture. NONE. He certainly has not done so while making disgusting claims about gay people.
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This is probably how furries became popular. People saw that Monty Python skit about the mice men and thought it was funny and started dressing up.
Does JD fuck couches? A lot of people are saying it. The best people. They keep saying it so there must be some truth to it. Just the other day I asked him so you prefer leather, right? It’s so smooth. It’s durable. It’s perfect! He looked me dead in the eye and said, “polyester”. It’s so rough though! That’s why he needs the glove!
JD “Nothing finer than a sofa recliner” Vance
More cushion for the pushin!
I’m late to the party. What’s up with all that couch fucking?
There was a made-up rumor that his book has an excerpt about fucking a couch…But the memes have been fire so no one cares that it’s false. He’s now a couch fucker.
You can build a million bridges, but you fuck one single couch, no one calls you a bridge builder.
Ok that’s pretty fucking funny. Has anybody already made R34 of that?
You’re welcome to go look, I’m certainly not going to.
That’s so gross. Which websites though?
Live action bigmouth confirmed, unfortunately.
He prefers the term Furniture Fondler.
I think he’s a natural pairing with Donald Trump, the philanderer. They can bring one girl back home without it getting “weird.”
Richard Gere’s gerbil approved
No, we’!re talking about the asshole who has plenty of real things to criticize without lowering ourselves to Republican-level antics by repeating random lies from some idiot’s Twitter account.
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Just do the real stuff like his dolphin fetish!
It’d be hilarious if a whisper campaign about couch-fuckin’ is what stopped fascism…
Hey there’s no proof of that!
i adore that he will live out the rest of his days being known as j.d. the couch fucking mascara muffin man vance
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your cause is noble, but the outrage over mascara man vance bashing is misguided. “punching down” is insulting race, sexuality, gender, disability, and any other thing that no one chooses for themselves*. makeup is 100% a choice, for everyone. in vance’s example it’s a ridiculous choice, given the requisite strictly defined GOP persona of the “manly man,” which obviously doesn’t involve men wearing makeup. so vance will be mocked for it.
where’s the outrage over making fun of trump’s orange spray tan? guliani’s hair dye leaking forehead?
and if you’re going to bring “gendered insult” into the conversation, then exactly who is arguing under the flawed premise that mascara is just for women, if not the person calling the insult gendered?
don’t worry, i make fun of many, many choices people make, from cartoonishly huge pickup trucks, to cargo shorts
*edit: apparently “punching down” is generally defined to mean attacking people ‘less powerful’ than yourself. i’m still including unchosen circumstances in my usage
You’re a monster. How could you make fun of cargo shorts?
LOL it’s not just me. how many women do you know who don’t think cargo shorts make us look like clowns?
They stop laughing when I pull an entire Chinese dinner for five out of those cargo shorts. Y’all sneak in your candy to the movies. I’ll do it my way.
My mom says they make me look handsome and agrees that it’s neat that I can carry all the sticks and rocks we find at the park!
you do you champ!