• RandomlyGeneratedName@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago

    I’ve been dating most of my life and never once had a woman ask to bring a friend and I am a very large man. Also, I feel like 1st dates are implied dutch unless someone offers to pay. I’ve never discussed who will pay before a date in my life. I don’t know how he would even think he’d be paying for the friend too. It wouldn’t even cross my mind as something a woman would assume a date was expected to do. If a woman expected that at check time, I would be pretty surprised. Maybe I’m just old, but this whole interaction feels weird.

    • GaMEChld@lemmy.world
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      3 days ago

      There’s a non insignificant amount of women dating only for free meals, and a lot of them expect men to pay for any number of friends. A lot of guys have opted for lower cost or zero cost first dates, like walks to screen for this.

    • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world
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      3 days ago

      I’ve never discussed who will pay before a date in my life

      Either this person in incredibly tactless or this is some kind of incel meme shitpost.

      Either way, whomever is passing it around seems to have a bone to pick.

      It wouldn’t even cross my mind as something a woman would assume a date was expected to do.

      Idk, really depends on the dynamic between them all. If they’re broke college kids and he’s an older person with a stable job and surplus cash? If he’s picking the restaurant to impress her, knowing she can’t afford it? If he already offered up thread in order to entice her out?

      But that makes the “date” feel more like a Sugar Baby relationship than a proper date. Also might explain why she feels the need to bring a friend.

      • RandomlyGeneratedName@lemmy.world
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        2 days ago

        Yeah, I have never had any desire to date a woman I had to pay for everything to impress. I am happy to pay if I know their financial situation is sketchy, but I would offer that. I don’t do sugar daddy shit. I prefer women with better motives in dating.

    • Mickey7@lemmy.worldOP
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      3 days ago

      Anyone afraid to go to an agreed meeting in a public place NEEDING a friend along is beyond weird

      • Rakonat@lemmy.world
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        2 days ago

        The friend isn’t there for when the date is in the public space. The friend is there for after to ensure the girl gets home safe.

          • notarobot@lemmy.zip
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            2 days ago

            I do not know if you noticed, but people want to date. She probably want to go AND be safe.

            • ScientifficDoggo@lemmy.zip
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              2 days ago

              Well yeah, but bringing an extra for a dinner date is weird. I’ve brought extra people along to meet the person I’ll be eating with and confirm my location. Having an extra person suddenly in the date dynamic kills the dynamic.

              • notarobot@lemmy.zip
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                1 day ago

                Then just say no and don’t go in a date with her. If her safety is such a big inconvenience for you, it’s not a good match.

                It’s ONE date. They are just trying to make sure you are not a rapist. I’d say they are likely to leave as soon as things look like they are going smoothly. Next date she shouldn’t be there. If she is invited again then don’t go. If on a second date she is still not sure if you are dangerous but wants to go out anyway, something might be wrong

                • ScientifficDoggo@lemmy.zip
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                  1 day ago

                  Okay, let’s take a step back. I never said it’s an inconvenience, i just said it’s weird. Please don’t assume things about me just because we disagree about something.

                  I even mentioned alternatives I’ve personally used to ensure my safety AND not change the date dynamic. Everyone should ensure their own safety, and if that’s what it takes for some people then fine but lets not tack on assumptions to force a narrative.

                  It’s weird to have someone sit in on a dinner date to me. Full stop. Am i gonna trip about it? Probably not. You do you boo.