Skunk
Skunks really are deceptively adorable. There’s a family of them that hang around the area between my home and the gas station I sometimes walk to at night, and I’ve caught them out there crossing the street and thought “Aww, how cu- ohfuuuuck walking back home, walking back home, runningbackhome”
I used to work with somebody who says she kept a de-glanded (not sure what the term is) skunk as a kid, and apparently they make good pets and allegedly have “fat ferret energy”. But apparently they still stink even without their gland.
Yes, they can’t spray you with the stink, but it’s still coming from them. I love skunks, their intelligence, their playfulness, their sociability, but nevertheless would not like to own one or ever come anything close to a wild one because I react strongly to smells.
Yes ?
You’re pretty, but stinky.
Thanks! We Skunks work hard to achieve this perfect balance.
Stelllllaaaaaaa
Was camping one time, got up to take a whiz in the middle of the night. Met the skunk at the campfire. I slowly backed up and noped out of there.
They’re basically stinky cats. I kinda want one but sadly they’re illegal here unless you buy one from a breeder.
A coworker of mine got skunked last fall. He hatched this whole revenge plan to trap it and then shoot it on halloween night, when the shot would be mistaken for a firecracker. The skunk must have caught wind because he skipped town.
Bear. I wanna bear hug, but not really.
I think those brains are the wrong way around
Here we go again… /s
I give you that, they look fluffy.
I came here to say this. If anyone’s interested, here’s unedited footage of a bear.
Oh god. I’m not strong enough to watch that again right now.
Otter. They’re a bunch of water gangster, they are fierce and they will bite. Even crocodiles and snake fear them when in group, human should leave them alone. Freaking cute creature though i just wanna pet one.
It helps that they smell godawful. They’re funny and cute and adorable but the whole otter smells like a butthole, which stops me from petting them. Barely.
“Oh look, they gonna head up on him!”
Some river otters seriously fucked up a couple of women up not long ago.
Most big cats are extremely cute and do silly kitty-like things.
Big cats can also be more-or-less tamed if they’re raised from a very, very young age by people. The issue, most of the time, is that big cats play just like house cats, and that kind of play can easily be fatal when the cat is the same size or larger than a human. House cats aren’t actually domesticated; they’re just tame, most of the time.
There are a number of IG accounts of wild cat rescues, or other big cats that live with humans, and they’re quite friendly because they were raised with and by people. But they’re still potentially deadly.
That is part of the reason why I’d get terrified - I have a scar on my leg from a house cat. (A friend of mine brought a kitty that he just adopted here, I was holding the kitty on my arms, Kika saw it as an invader and… well, she attacked the thing nearest to the invader that she could reach, i.e. my leg.) So when I see those big cats I can’t help but imagine a 30x larger house cat, with all the dangers that it entails. And the associated cuteness.
Oh, you are absolutely right. Feral cats can fuck you up, because they have zero qualms about using ultraviolence.
We’ve only had cats for 12,000-15,000 years. We’ve had dogs for almost 200,000 years. Give them another 30,000 years and we might have actually domesticated some cats.
I find it more likely that the cats will finish domesticating us
It seems that dogs actually domesticated us far more than anything else, thus far. If cats manage that, hopefully they avoid the trap of being domesticated along with us, because at this point we aren’t the angry chimpanzee, and orangutan hybrid that evolved into Neanderthal and Homo Erectus.
The realest answer: baby bear. Because the mother is right around the corner.
Baby grizzly cub. Because if you can see the cub and not the mother…
A big cat, any of them really. They look so cute and I’d have my guard down because of how much they remind me of little cats. And then boom it’d hit me, they might be running the same Cat Brain OS but they’re capable of taking me out in one swift swipe if they wanted to and if I accidentally irked them somehow (also not having any positive attachment to humans they might not hold back). But it’d be too late, and I’d die terrified but also beholding the cute, cute kitty.
I saw a tiger pacing back and forth and thought “yup, predator” and then it rolled on its back and exposed its fluffy belly and I was immediately disarmed.
Tickle that belly… might be the last thing you ever do, but on the upswing, giant cat belly tickling
Mom had mountain lions that were abandoned as kits that she raised in the house. I fought one. I no longer have an illusions concerning big cats.
Cougars. We have them where I live and they’re adorable and beautiful, but I prefer not to meet any in person.
I’ve met a few in person and my personal preference is a range of 100 yards/meters. They are a lot bigger than people think.
A notable encounter was on the 4th of July Pass in Idaho, one crossed right in front of my vehicle (Geo Metro) and was about the same size of said car.
I’ve seen a couple taxidermied ones. They are big cats indeed.
Bobcats and lynxes in particular.
Definitely polar bear. They look so cuddly but I would be terrified to even see one from afar.
You don’t see them. You are on the ice and so are they. They hunker down and purposefully cover their nose with their paw when you look in their direction. When you look away, they creep closer until your head starts to turn again. They don’t want you don’t see the little black spot getting closer and closer. If you are lucky and looking around while you are out on the ice, you will see a little black spot disappear. If you do. GET OUT NOW. If the spot was big enough to notice, the bear is probably close enough to charge. I hope your snow machines are close and ready to go.
That makes me want to pet it so much more.
Agreed. The death floof is one of the cutest things on the planet.
Especially when they have their baby with them and drink Coca-Cola Classic from a glass bottle.
hippopotamus
The Blue Ringed Octopus is a cutie. Tiny little guy, you could just scoop up with your hand… has one of the most potent toxins on earth, and there is no antidote.
There are some very cute cobras.
WATCH A VIDEO OF SNAKES DRINKING WATER RIGHT THE FUCK NOW
Platypus. So goofy looking on one hand. Poisonous spurs on the other.
Venomous, platypus produce venom.
Just touch the goofy looking hand then 🤷🏻♂️
A wild haggis.
Nothing more dangerous than a female haggis guarding her neeps.
Aye lethal little beasties.
Slow loris. They have this look like they’re scared and want to be cuddled, and if they could speak, they’d probably say “Oh my, did I forget to tell you I’m the only poisonous primate?”
Human babies
Human adults
I’d agree but adults are not always cute. They actually rarely are
Koala, cute as hell but those big pointy claws, no THANK you sir.
Plus bonus chlamydia!
Just use a condom, or get ready to take 100mg of doxycycline twice/day for 7 days 👌
And vomitting! And eating that vomit!
