How low on avocado do you need to be to not be allowed to say that it’s guac? 3.5% will certainly do it.
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Homeopathic guac.
Homeopathamole
Seems more like sociopathic guac.
This got me curious so I looked up the nutrition page on Tesco’s website… The two main ingredients are water and tomatoes lol
INGREDIENTS: Water, Tomato, Rapeseed Oil, Onion, Modified Maize Starch, Avocado (3.5%), Soured Cream (Milk) (3%), Lime Juice from Concentrate, Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Whey Powder (Milk), Sugar, Garlic Purée, Jalapeño Chilli (1%), Coriander Leaf, Dried Egg Yolk, Acidity Regulator (Citric Acid), Salt, Colours (Lutein, Copper Complexes of Chlorophyllins), Stabilisers (Xanthan Gum), Dried Red Pepper, Glucose Syrup, Preservative (Potassium Sorbate), Antioxidant (Ascorbic Acid).
Just like mother used to make.
Gather around children and enjoy some of mamas Tesco Guacamole inspired topping
So it’s green ketchup!
Sugar is not nearly high enough on that ingredient list to be ketchup, but it’d be nice if it wasn’t there at all. I mean it already has cornstarch. And why they include a miniscule amount of glucose syrup on top of their sugar is beyond me. Must be because it’s in the ingredients of some other processed food that they’re using to make this one.
Lets play spot the hidden corn syrup.
Modified Maize Starch
There it is!
Is that what it means? Ha, I always assumed that was a thickener or something.
That actually doesnt sound too bad. Though I’m surprised with the artificial colors that this is what went with.
Except it has sour cream another dairy products in it. Those don’t belong in guacamole under any circumstance. Even tomato is iffy and shouldn’t really be in there.
at least they’re up front about their bullshit. unlike “american cheese” that has “pasteurized processed cheese product” in fine print. or “ice cream” with “frozen dairy product” in fine print. when i worked at starbucks we had to call it a “chocolatey chip” frappuccino instead of “chocolate chip,” because the ingredients didn’t fit the legal definition of chocolate
i’m also impressed they called it “rapeseed oil” instead of canola oil. though maybe there are new rules about that
edit: ok, “canola oil” is a stupid americas thing–i withdraw my impressedness
Canola is a North American thing. AFAIK the British are familiar with the term “rapeseed” and don’t need the rebranding.
Honestly not sure why people get so upset about American cheese. It’s just cheese with an emulsifier in it that softens it. Best burger cheese by far.
Best burger cheese by far.
Memories of Guacamole™
I’m sure that’s a farrow and ball paint colour.
Can’t find the one where they added a fourth panel
Whoah, I remember all the catchy “not butter” related margarine names. I guess “I can’t believe it’s not butter” must have consumed them all before today in some act of greasy cannibalism.
“I can’t believe it’s not Guac”
Finally, millenials’ financial troubles are over!
“I can’t believe we’re legally not allowed to call it guacamole”
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I saw “tortilla chips with avocado”, it had %0.04 dried avocado powder in it. So lower than that?
Anytime they say its “with” its like homeopathic level
Be inspired.
Topping
The worst part of this is the lack of hyphen
“Yeah I dunno, Jake…I was just this very moment enjoying this bomb-ass salsa when it hit me…this epiphany just washed over me…I think I want to be a power bottom.”
pauses putting guac covered tortilla chip in mouth “…o…ohmigawd…you’re not gonna believe this, Mike…”
🤮
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Allergic to what? It’s still got avocado in it, just not a whole lot
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It has everything real guacamole has except also dairy and it’s mostly tomato. It should also not have lemon in it but I guess if you’re allergic to lemon doesn’t matter what citrus you put in. That seems like a pretty rare allergy though.
Imitation tree fruit emulsion
Is this like the whole wasabi thing where cheapskates use horseradish instead?
Almost everyone outside of Japan uses horseradish, not just cheapskates. There isn’t very much real wasabi.
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/shrug. Albeit with low expectations, I’d try it.
