California accepts denmark’s bid. Please.
Honestly Washington State is the one I’d buy, but given the weird conservative obsession with beating up on California you can probably get a better deal.
they offered to buy Washington DC but it seems Russia beat them to it.
slow claps
Well done sir, well done.
With a pee room and some shady video
EU citizenship with no hassle?
Hell yes!
Yes, sign me up. I’m ready. Right now. Seriously. Do they want money?
This would be the biggest mass migration to California since the last one.
No hassle? I think you severely underestimate the effort required to learn Danish.
Wouldn’t be the first bilingual EU country.
The Danish Realm already has three official languages, adding two more shouldn’t be a problem.
Humoring the situation, I imagine English would be an accepted official language of the region lol
English and Spanish would surely be given the same status as Greenlandic and Faroese.
Friendly reminder that there are quite a few red states that literally would not survive without the tax revenue from California propping them up.
Can they buy oregon and Washington too?
As a Cali expat in Washington I approve of this.
I’m sure we could work out a buy 2 get 1 free deal
Don’t forget Colorado, we have lots of drugs!
As a Coloradoan, I approve of being sold to Denmark.
I support this sale.
I volunteer Minnesota as well.
Wisconsinite here. I’m hoping the great lakes area is occupied by Canada after we lose WW3.
And North Carolina. Trump can keep South.
Left and right sides of PA, too, please and thank you
But mostly the right. Danish is a terrible enough language without adding Yinz to their vocabulary
I know this is pushing it but can we throw in all the western states? I promise Utah’s national parks and skiing are awesome.
Too many magats and weird zealots. Nature there is great and all but the people suck.
No… If there’s one state besides Texas you don’t want in this transfer, it’s Mormonland
utah will surprise you with how much the mormons do not like trump
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Maybe France would be interested to buy back Louisiana as well.
This is the “Louisiana” they sold:
The Louisiana refund
aren’t those some of the reddest parts?
Don’t threaten me with a good time
I hope they change the name to Hyggewood
What’s hygge
Edit: that warm cozy feeling
Yes! California native here. We accept.
$1 is a pretty good deal.
They should have charged, honestly.
Yes please. If you could finalize the deal before April 15 that would be very helpful.
What’s happening on April 15?
Tax day….
oh, I’m not american so I don’t know your tax days.
It was more of a sigh… Collective sigh from all Americans. Not saying you’re bad because you didn’t know.
I like how this underscores what a joke they think Trump is.
I wanna carve out Philly and submit myself to whichever EU nation is willing to take us. We voted against the fascist by double digit margin, and in the last mayoral democratic primary, a pluality of us voted for the progressive candidates (but the votes split on two of the progressive democrats so they both lost, thanks FPTP).
The pitch is a bitter response to President Trump’s plan to purchase Greenland, which Denmark currently owns.
Jesus titty fucking christ how obliviously ignorant do you have to be to not realize the satirical nature-…
Oh, nvm when will the boomers fucking die already
The sheer absurdity of this “news” piece perfectly encapsulates the late-stage capitalism circus we’re trapped in. A real estate fire sale of cultural landmarks? Only in a world where oligarchs treat nations like Monopoly properties and influencers mistake clickbait for journalism. Hollywood’s already a hollowed-out shell of corporate algorithms—selling it to Denmark would at least spare us another superhero reboot.
Propaganda outlets peddling geopolitical fanfiction while actual democracies crumble? Classic misdirection. Meanwhile, the same clowns who’d auction Yellowstone to Saudi princes for a tax break are now cosplaying as statesmen. It’s not satire anymore—it’s a diagnostic manual for civilizational collapse.
Social media’s algorithmic abyss keeps amplifying this narcissistic delirium until reality itself becomes a glitchy deepfake. Unplug the servers before someone Tweets Greenland into the ocean.
You OK?
not sure if you noticed, but NONE OF US ARE OKAY hon.
