“He was like a dildo in a lightbulb store: wasn’t the brightest, but never failed to please his teacher.”
I prefer, due to my white trash rural roots:
“That dog won’t hunt.”
I don’t have a don’t in this don’t.
This is the true evolution
My two favorite malaphors:
- It’s not rocket surgery.
- We will burn that bridge when we get to it.
I use those both regularly. And people seem totally unable to tell whether I am doing it on purpose.
Malaphor, my new favorite word Also: “she looks like she’s been through the run of the mill”
“He looks like he fell out of the Ugly Tree and hit every branch on the way down.”
That’s all water under the fridge at this point.
Not sure what’s the idiom with “fridge” in it.
“I don’t have a horse in this dog”: incoherent, fanciful, drunk
“Shit or get out of the kitchen” is my current favorite malaphor.
I use “We’ll burn that bridge when we come to it” pretty frequently myself
“not the sharpest knife in the cookie jar”
Sure. It ain’t rocket surgery.
I don’t have a dog in this horse.
I don’t have a race in this fight.
“I don’t fight in other people’s races.”
Implies that my fighting is done strictly at my own behest:-).
"I’m not the sharpest crayon in the basket. "
“Does the pope shit in the woods?”
“I don’t have a hot dog in this bun” - me to the Costco worker.
"Whatever guy, it’s like $2 and I know you just swallowed the whole damn thing, but here, sure, I’ll give you another one while you hold your bag with 5 pounds of hot pockets and a 3L bottle of Johnny Walker blue. "
-the Costco worker
I don’t have one horse size duck or 100 duck sized horses in this race.
“I dont have a horse in this fight” makes sense if context is Calvary charge. I dk im drunk.
And a dog in this race for greyhound racing
I’m not a native English speaker, but in my experience “I don’t have a horse in this race” seems more common.
I’m a native, and I’d agree. But it’s a funny post so, I’ll ignore that.
IMO, “dog in this fight” is more common where Ive lived: Appalachia, mid-Atlantic, Midwest. I wouldn’t be surprised if it also varies by region, class, etc.
“I don’t have a race-fight in this horse-dog” : questionable morals; supernatural or sci-fi undertones; a good chance for double-takes, perhaps even the odd triple-take
I don’t have a race-fight in this hot-dog
!lemmysilver
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Not my circus, not my monkeys.
