I can’t grow a full beard for shit and am thinking of looking into permanent removal
My stache though is hilarious, if I grow it out without the beard I instantly look like I’ve aged myself 40 years. Something not helped by the fact that my chosen look is suspenders on a tucked in button down and alternating on khakis vs jeans.
I look like microbrewery ned flanders.
Stupid sexy microbrewery Flanders
I feel your pain. My “beard” makes Kyle Kulinski’s patchy bro beard look like Gimli’s.
Googles
Oh you poor thing, well I mean hey, the folks do be diggin’ a clean face tho.
Yeah, it’s a cycle. Beards go in and out of style. I’m not too worried about it. I’m old, married, and fairly apathetic about fashion anyway.
I too have some Joe Dirt DNA.
I can grow some pretty epic facial hair, but it’s at the cost of most of the hair on my head.
I’m so confused. I’m just imagining you clean shaven, and a full head of fabio hair. But then you stop shaving, and the hair starts growing out of your face, but the longer your face hair gets, the shorter your head hair gets. Until eventually you’re totally bald up top.
Yes, my imagination IS very cartoonish.
Whilst that would be a fascinating pickle to be in, I meant I’m bald.
My brother is balding and has full facial hair. I have a full head of hair, but can’t grow anything beyond an embarrassing teenage stache.
This feels like an unaired pilot for a 70s comic book saterday morning superhero show.
“WITH THEIR RINGS COMBINED, THEIR HAIR GROWS IN MODERATION!!! THEY ARE, BABYFACE JOHN, AND BALD JOHNSON!!!”
Ok, definately need new names. I was trying to go for “John Johnson”, except you’re both two half of it…
But somehow I made your brother into a name that sounds like a well cleaned penis.
My username makes sense now, doesn’t it?
Thanks to Veet I do have a bald johnson if that helps…
He’s full of play-doh.
If comment-OP concentrates for a minute, they can “flex” inward. Their Fabio-hair is drawn inwards and so is their facial hair until they seem completely clean-shaven. Then with a gasp they open their mouth and a long vine of hair spews out to strike down their enemies. Once the villains are downed, they can “flex” the hair back in through their mouth, and push it out of their head and face like before to look totally normal. They’re planning to become a superhero soon, but they just can’t think of a good hero name.
Me too, but the last time I tried it, it came in fully white on just one side. What the hell, face?
Too real bro too real
If it helps, my beard was super patchy underneath the 3 feet of hair that completely covers it up if it still is. Growing facial hair for most people is about being able to get through the patchy part. Movember helps if you want social cover. By the end of that month, if it still looks bad, you can decide then if it’s worth continuing or shave it off when everyone else does. Secretly, that is pretty much the whole point of movember, a socially sanctioned event where no matter how bad it looks, you aren’t supposed to shave it off. And it’s for awareness of men’s health issues. But mostly the first thing, hehe.
When did “no shave november” shorten to “movember?” I missed that one (though tbf I’ve been doing “no shave 15yr” so I don’t watch closely lol).
I can’t grow facial hair
As he is sucking down a soy latte.
Friendly reminder that the soy thing is a right-wing nutjob obsession because soy contains phytoestrogens - plant estrogen - and they believe this increases your human estrogen levels.
Unfortunately for trans women, that is simply not true. Phytoestrogens are just too different in structure from human estrogen to (significantly) activate estrogen hormone receptors and may even inactivate them in some cases. Most studies suggest very little but conflicting effects or no effects at all.
The soy obsession is because soy is a common alternative to dairy products and from an East Asian plant, triggering right-wingers fragile masculinity and inherit racism. They’re desperate to paint it as feminine so the only thing they could possibly latch onto is that it contains something named after estrogen - the FEMALES’ HORMONE!!!
If you want to temporarily have more estrogen receptor activations, just drink a latte with cow milk, since dairy contains plenty of cow estrogen which is quite similar in structure to human estrogen.
I always just assumed it was only as deep as “that’s not the milk I grew up with, waaaaah”
He’s a reptile…
I’m lactose intolerant and drink soy or oatmilk lattes fairly frequently. My beard was solid before I figured out my intolerance and has been fine since I figured it out. If all it takes for beard trouble is a bit of soymilk you should probably talk to your doctor.
The person you replied to is a downvote farmer, look at their post history.
Jokes on them, my instance doesn’t support down votes.
How does that even work?
I’m not sure, but I can’t downvote anything. I don’t know if I can ask see other downvotes or not.
If I grow out my beard I look like a hobo. Its fine hair that’s not dense enough, light colored, and wily AF. My moustache looks like a pedo stache too. I rock a good chin strap and stubble stache though!
I’ve always loved the idea of having a good beard, shame it just doesn’t work well for me the way I’d like.
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