• Ageroth@reddthat.com
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      2 months ago

      You and another person can experience the exact same things and one can be traumatized while the other is not. Telling your children lies can be traumatic no matter what the context is, because it teaches the kid not to believe what you say is true or to expect fuckery, a bit like the crying wolf thing.

      • GorGor@startrek.website
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        2 months ago

        Am I traumatizing my children telling them about Santa?

        Personally I’m good with my children being suspicious of me. Don’t trust me blindly just because I’m an authority, trust me because you know me and my motivations.

        • Todd Bonzalez@lemm.ee
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          2 months ago

          Am I traumatizing my children telling them about Santa?

          Depending on what you are telling them, you could be. If they are afraid of Santa and you use him as a boogeyman, absolutely. If you teach your kids that he is always watching and judging, and can be used to exact punishment against them, there’s potential for it to cause trauma.

          Teaching kids little myths for fun is generally harmless, but inventing things for your kids to be scared of, especially to exert psychological control over them, can do real harm. Actively lying to children because you think they’re stupid or gullible just earns you a shit reputation with your kids as they grow older and realize you don’t have any respect for them.

          Don’t trust me blindly just because I’m an authority, trust me because you know me and my motivations.

          Or don’t trust you, because you told lies and destroyed the foundation of trust by doing so.

          • Zron@lemmy.world
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            2 months ago

            Love when everyone on the internet turns into a developmental psychologist because of some ribbing.

            I’ve been bullied, beaten, hell I’ve watched people die. Those are traumatic.

            Being asked to find a thing that doesn’t exist is not traumatic. It might be a little mean, but it does teach a lesson to use your head when you’re working on projects.

            • Soup@lemmy.world
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              2 months ago

              Are we doing pain olympics? Just because someone has it better or less immediately noticeable doesn’t mean it’s less valid. It might be less extreme but telling they don’t have trust issues because you saw someone die doesn’t help anyone.

              I’m sorry you had to go through that, it sounds awful. Being regularly expected to be and treated like a gullible idiot by people who have power over you isn’t fun either.

    • LainTrain@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      2 months ago

      Yeah I’m with you a 100%, but this very much isn’t appropriate behaviour towards a child imo. They may recover, or they may end up on Lemmy rationalising it 20 years later as “hazing” to the horror of onlookers.

      • frostysauce@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        JFC. How will the child ever recover from a joke they figured out in the middle! Poor kid is probably still in therapy 31 years later! Just their life completely ruined by realizing a can of paint can’t come in two different colors. I think the dad should be in jail to this day for such heartless abuse.