I was originally hired as an Emergency Medical Technician by a hospital. After a few years the local Fire Department took over EMS. The only thing that changed is that the taxpayers had to pay to have our ambulances repainted and we all got new uniforms.

One day while driving my partner and I get flagged down; the man’s truck had caught fire. We could see visible flames between the cab and the box. My partner grabbed the fire extinguisher on the console and I ran around to the back and got the fire extinguisher from the rear compartment. We doused the flames before the engine arrived. We made our report on the radio and went back to the station to restock.

We were later told that the fire extinguishers should only be used if our vehicle was on fire, and not for civilians.

So, we were supposed to sit in Fire uniforms, in a Fire vehicle, and not put out a fire.

I got in trouble at work because I sent an email to my manager about some new servers that were being installed, but didn’t appear we had access to the management console. I let her know the entire team will need access so we could properly support the machines. I was pulled into a conversation… How dare I presume my direct manager who only managed my team, have any idea what we do!

(Lost all respect for her that exact moment)

I was interviewing for a job as a movie theater manager.

In my neck of the woods there’s a limited number of movie theaters, and everyone knows everyone else. So I was interviewing for the job when I’m told

“we heard through the grapevine that after you were fired from your last job you broke into the office and did something unspeakable on the carpet.”

I still ended up getting the job.

I didn’t stop to greet some customers as I walked in with a cane for the third week in a row due to nerve damage.

I wasn’t on the clock, we didn’t have a uniform, no name tag, nobody would even know I work there until I put my shit on after I clock in.

By that time I had made it a habit of recording every interaction with management, so I just pulled out my phone, hit the record button, and asked “so to be clear, are you officially reprimanding me for NOT doing work off the clock?” and that immediately shut him up.

Managers get awfully pensive when they have recording devices capturing them.