• Sombyr@lemmy.zip
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    5 months ago

    I can’t speak for every woman, but I can speak for my own experiences and report based on the things women I know have said. For me and those I’ve spoken to, we may like muscles, but the things you need to do to get those muscles often aren’t as attractive and cancel it out. Like, if you’re getting muscles by going to the gym every day, that’s only gonna attract women who are enthusiastic about the gym. If you get them from farm work, you’ll attract women enthusiastic about farm life.
    That’s why a lot of us like dad bods so much. It’s not that it’s inherently more attractive, it’s that it’s a body type achievable by living the kind of life style people who’re into that enjoy.
    In other words, yes, muscles can be attractive, but not nearly as attractive as shared hobbies and interests, and it just happens quite often muscles can be a quick indicator that you probably don’t share many.

    • intensely_human@lemm.ee
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      5 months ago

      I got big arm from the gym once and even women who never went to the gym couldn’t resist peeking at them.

      You make it sound like the muscles are only interesting as a sign of lifestyle.

      No, in my experience women find muscles viscerally and directly arousing, not just an indicator of compatible lifestyle. Women like muscles the way men like boobs: before thinking.

      • Akasazh@feddit.nl
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        5 months ago

        So from your experience of not being a woman, you’ve deducted what woman want.

        About that very same confusion books were written and movies were made.

        • undergroundoverground@lemmy.world
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          5 months ago

          I’m not a dog but I’m fairly certain all the dogs I’ve met want to be fed some kind of meat intended for human consumption or cheese.

          Does my lack of being a dog make this untrue?

          I’m sure the market for “magic Mike, the dad-bod edition” will pick up any minute now.

          Any minute now…

            • undergroundoverground@lemmy.world
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              5 months ago

              Let me just add that your evading answering the question says all that needed to be said.

              Also, how can you feel sorry for them? You’re not a dog. Therefore, you couldn’t possibly have any idea what they might want.

      • tetris11@lemmy.ml
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        5 months ago

        it’s called morbid curiousity, like looking at an elephant sitting in arm chair

      • Sombyr@lemmy.zip
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        5 months ago

        I wasn’t intending to say we only like muscles as an indicator of lifestyle. I was saying they’re also an indicator of lifestyle, so even if we are attracted to them we may still pass because it doesn’t match the kind of personality we prefer, and personality is generally a lot more important to us than appearance (generally, but not always.)
        For instance, I find muscles attractive. I like that they show somebody’s interested in staying healthy, but I don’t generally date muscular men simply because I’m not into the fit lifestyle. I much prefer a guy who’s more likely to join me playing my favorite games or watching my favorite movies, because I’m a nerd and those are the things I like, and a guy who’s a little chubbier tends to be exactly that kind of guy.

        • Pelicanen@sopuli.xyz
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          5 months ago

          All the nerds who go to the gym just quietly shed a tear.

          I also think that men (of which I am one) tend to overestimate just how much women appreciate muscles. Naturally it’s a spectrum but I at least have the experience that men believe that getting muscular will automatically award them with adoration from women when that seldom seems to be the case.