What are you talking about? TikTok isn’t the internet, just like Facebook wasn’t and MySpace wasn’t.

TikTok is like Snapchat. 13 years ago Snapchat was the cool app all the kids were using and making fun of older people for not getting it. 13 years later and it’s still just shitty text messaging, with the only people using it being those who cared a decade ago who got their family and friends to sign up just for them.

TikTok is just shitty Youtube and in 10 years will be replaced by something else. Plus, what exactly am I out of touch with? My reddit feed is already crammed with crappy TikTok videos. Take something mildly amusing with the volume off that would be moderately amusing with sound. Replace that sound with the most godawful music you can think of. Now repost it 100 times with the image cropped to oblivion and half the screen taken up by an emoji or some random mobile game. Woo yeah, that’s the future of content, let me tell you.

What to know about ‘quad-demic’

It’s January and this happens every winter.

Thank goodness. It’s about time the Republicans did something good and had to deal with the political fallout instead of relying on Democrats to do everything.

Companies can’t have religious beliefs. Individuals within those companies can, but companies are not people.

My wife and I always give each other 2-3 options and take turns narrowing it down. Same with movies: We start out with our Trakt list and take turns narrowing it down until we get something we both want to watch.

In the show, typically something out of the ordinary would happen during the opening scene, and the narrator would foreshadow how that small thing would have major consequences before declaring that the characters had entered The Twilight Zone.

In this comic, the narrator might say something like, “Meet Mrs. Anderson, a typical American wife who’s never quite sure where she wants to eat. But after a strong craving on a fateful night, she finds her next meal in The Twilight Zone.”

Anyway, he’s smoking a cigarette, not crack.

No, the joke is that it’s The Twilight Zone.

It’s because he started playing Plague Inc. and has convinced himself it’s the only place to hide with the next pandemic.

Not sure what you mean. The McChicken bars are not showing a 200% increase regardless of how you slice it.

“Side”

This isn’t a sports game, it’s real life.

When I had a yellow jacket nest in my garage, the solution wasn’t “more yellow jackets,” it was to get rid of the nest. When your house is on fire, the fire department doesn’t show up with flame throwers to make more fire. When you accidentally poop your pants, the solution isn’t to poop some more.

Yet somehow when the problem is gun violence, people think the solution is somehow more guns and more violence.

That’s the problem. These guys get out of the military and there are no enemies, so they have to invent them. Your solution just produces more people looking for enemies to stab.

They’re not. The $3 bar is not 3x the height of the $1 bar next to it. The $2.99 bar on the right is higher than the $2.99 bar on the left. Someone just free drew the bars and it’s extremely noticeable and annoying.

Every single question was addressed in the cliff notes while I skimmed them the night before the test.

And you suddenly realized what your teacher used to make the test questions.

I’m neither financially ruined nor unhealthy, so…

I could change it to “anything” and still make the same point.

It’s time for this silliness to come to an end. You must ride a bike. We all must. It’s not a weird fringe form of transportation that only people in Portland and Colorado do. It’s just simply the way we all get around for moderate intra-city distances.

Ah yes, because we all live in areas where everything we need to access is a moderate intra-city distance away.

That tropes are not bad, and overusing them does not automatically make a work bad.

Sweet, I can start prescribing Victoza again. Sucks that Ozempic’s patent doesn’t expire until 2033.

Noo, MTG only allows you to go to “arbitrarily high.”

There is some truth to it. For example, all three of Alabama’s nitrogen executions were selected by the prisoners.