I used to work with two guys I called “Tall Todd” and “Tall Paul”. Both were really smart and part of our IT department. Both in shape-ish, skinny, very tall.
Paul was conventionally hot - his side job was modeling, he made money at it and I did once unexpectedly see him on a national advertisement. Hot, you understand? He was nice, friendly, I wasn’t attracted to him but could see he was physically really good looking, and was outgoing and pleasant, creative guy, good Halloween costumes.
Tall Todd wasn’t good looking like that, and had the additional baggage of being named Todd, but had this way of existing in the world that was just so comfortable and made you feel comfortable. I think when people say confidence this is what they mean - not removediness but this self acceptance. He was just so attractive without being physically attractive - he wasn’t ugly exactly but unremarkable in looks. But goodness he was attractive in real life. Magnetic.
I do not know how people get that sort of confidence but it’s not by being really good looking.
You get that kind of confidence by not giving a shit about what other people think in terms of your physical attractiveness. I don’t think I’m especially good looking. I also couldn’t give less of a shit. Which is why I have the confidence to have the facial hair of a 19th century president. Because a mutton chops beard is fucking awesome. I’m married, but I wouldn’t even care if I was single. I’m keeping my mutton chops.
I used to work with two guys I called “Tall Todd” and “Tall Paul”. Both were really smart and part of our IT department. Both in shape-ish, skinny, very tall.
Paul was conventionally hot - his side job was modeling, he made money at it and I did once unexpectedly see him on a national advertisement. Hot, you understand? He was nice, friendly, I wasn’t attracted to him but could see he was physically really good looking, and was outgoing and pleasant, creative guy, good Halloween costumes.
Tall Todd wasn’t good looking like that, and had the additional baggage of being named Todd, but had this way of existing in the world that was just so comfortable and made you feel comfortable. I think when people say confidence this is what they mean - not removediness but this self acceptance. He was just so attractive without being physically attractive - he wasn’t ugly exactly but unremarkable in looks. But goodness he was attractive in real life. Magnetic.
I do not know how people get that sort of confidence but it’s not by being really good looking.
Being tall is like 75% of being physically attractive according to most surveys.
If you’re over 6’ the “how tall are you” is either the first or second question on every date along with “what do you do for work”
It’s kinda sad how predictable we can be as animals
It’s interesting how bad I’m getting downvoted…
It is acceptable to say rich people, white people, men have a natural advantage.
But saying pretty people also have an advantage is horrible…
Lol
Being rich is not natural. And it’s a red flag because you don’t get rich without being an asshole.
People absolutely get that kind of confidence by being really good looking…
What you found was an outlier, a unicorn. It happens but that in no way changes reality.
You get that kind of confidence by not giving a shit about what other people think in terms of your physical attractiveness. I don’t think I’m especially good looking. I also couldn’t give less of a shit. Which is why I have the confidence to have the facial hair of a 19th century president. Because a mutton chops beard is fucking awesome. I’m married, but I wouldn’t even care if I was single. I’m keeping my mutton chops.
I wish this kind of attitude is acceptable in my country. Over here, even something like this is enough to make you weirdo and quickly alienate you.
I am a weirdo and maybe it does make people stay away from me. I just don’t care.
You do understand what an outlier is? Did you not take basic math in high school?
I mean damn, I know this is the Internet, but I thought Lemmy users could understand basic statistics…
You also feel that because one person won the lottery every can/should?
Being ugly is a disadvantage, like other disadvantages (poor, stupid,etc) it can be overcome. But that doesn’t change the fact that it is one.
Have you? Where is your data that indicates this is an outlier?
lemme google that (or duck duck go) for you…
https://www.vice.com/en/article/epz8pk/psychology-pretty-privilege-attractive-people
https://www.sciencetimes.com/articles/46550/20231016/pretty-privilege-paradox-psychologists-explain-why-life-easier-attractive-people.htm
https://www.science.org/content/article/scienceshot-brain-rewards-us-looking-pretty-faces
I mean common sense would help you with your denial. But there are dozens of other links if you go look.
Let’s see.
Article 1: “pretty privilege exists.”
Article 2: “pretty privilege exists.”
Article 3: “pretty face privilege exists.”
None of these indicate that being seen and rewarded for being a relaxed, confident, comfortable guy is an outlier thing that rarely happens.
Also, I asked for data, not articles.