How much time have you spent being single?

If you’re currently single: is it by choice or circumstance?

Do you / did you enjoy single life?

What are / were the pros and cons?

Is / was partnership a goal of yours?

If you’re currently not single: Did your goals change after getting into a relationship?

What are the pros and cons?

  • stoy@lemmy.zip
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    6 months ago

    I was born in 1987, sooooo, 36.5 years and counting…

    I wasn’t mature enough to be interested in finding a girlfriend in school, when I started being interested I got fat and balding.

    Then it has now gone so long that I am worried about how an inexperienced virgin would be seen by women in their 30s/40s.

    I have a good job, limited debt, own my apartment and my car, have decent finances, have lived alone for ten years so can take care of chores, pay bills, I am a decent cook (if lazy), I enjoy photography and simple adventures.

    I am a bit insecure of my weight, but am trying to work on it when I can, I go swimming 3 times a week during periods when I can do that.

    The main issue is that I don’t know where to start finding someone.

    • The How™@lemmings.world
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      6 months ago

      Have you asked yourself wether it’s truly something you want for yourself, or instead, perhaps a feeling that you’re behind on some social benchmark? I ask because I’m 33 with a relatively similar experience, but when a woman I dated told me she thought I might be asexual, when I did the research and asked myself these questions I realized I was operating entirely on the supposition that I’m ‘normal’, and not that the urges to be in relationships and have sex likely stemmed from a perceived social obligation.

      Once I realized that in my heart of hearts I’ve never actually experienced an urge to have sex with another person, I embraced an asexual identity. Without sex as a motivator, I soon realized I didn’t even experience romantic attraction.

      Some folks think this is sad, but in truth I’m so much happier and carefree, without the pressures to fit into a mold that doesn’t actually fit me, much less the stresses of maintaining a relationship.