• 2 Posts
  • 7 Comments
Joined 9 months ago
Cake day: October 2nd, 2023
  • The How™@lemmings.worldtoAsk Lemmy@lemmy.world•How long have you gone without being in a romantic relationship?
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    2 months ago

    Have you asked yourself wether it’s truly something you want for yourself, or instead, perhaps a feeling that you’re behind on some social benchmark? I ask because I’m 33 with a relatively similar experience, but when a woman I dated told me she thought I might be asexual, when I did the research and asked myself these questions I realized I was operating entirely on the supposition that I’m ‘normal’, and not that the urges to be in relationships and have sex likely stemmed from a perceived social obligation.

    Once I realized that in my heart of hearts I’ve never actually experienced an urge to have sex with another person, I embraced an asexual identity. Without sex as a motivator, I soon realized I didn’t even experience romantic attraction.

    Some folks think this is sad, but in truth I’m so much happier and carefree, without the pressures to fit into a mold that doesn’t actually fit me, much less the stresses of maintaining a relationship.

  • The How™@lemmings.worldtoscience@lemmy.world•Asexuality Is Finally Breaking Free from Medical Stigma
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    6 months ago

    I mean it’s generally bad form to attempt to explain why someone is of a particular orientation. You don’t say “well you’re only gay because you have trauma,” because that’s fucked up and overtly reductive of a key aspect of their personality.

    I don’t experience sexual attraction. I still get horny. Orgasms feel great. I get lonely all the time, and still need social interaction. My experience is far from unique amongst asexual people. I don’t think it’s as simple as a single chemical imbalance.

    At the same time, I am scientifically-minded, and understand that my mind arises as a product of the processes of my brain and body. I don’t disagree that hormones play as a factor in my orientation, but not everyone in the ace community shares that sentiment, and of course having your orientation chalked up to a specific medical or phychological “quirk” generally feels bad.