• Velma@lemmy.today
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    15 days ago

    I do tend to assume that men I don’t know are malicious as a baseline because they are a danger to women.

    • TheTechnician27@lemmy.world
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      15 days ago

      Against my better judgment regarding double standards, I’m going to treat this legitimately unexpected level of misandry with kid gloves compared to how I’d treat even garden-variety misogyny and say that I hope you find peace with any trauma that may have led you to this point. Sincerely, no smarm, no “bless your heart” condescension – I understand what it is to be burdened with a lifetime of systemic distrust through no fault of your own.

      Still, there’s nothing more I can say to a closed loop of “men are assumed malicious and a man probably made this statement because this statement is misogynistic and the statement is assumed misogynistic because a man made it and if a man made it then surely it’s misogynistic […]”. Even though we irreconcilably disagree on the OP, and I don’t think your assumptions about men are overall accurate or healthy, I appreciate your polite candor about why you feel the way you do.

      • Velma@lemmy.today
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        15 days ago

        And men I don’t know also pose the greatest risk to me as a woman. It is what it is.

        • abbotsbury@lemmy.world
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          15 days ago

          I’m glad you can rationalize your prejudice, but nobody should have assumptions made about them for aspects of themselves they cannot control. It isn’t what it is, it’s never too late to change into a good person.

          • Velma@lemmy.today
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            15 days ago

            It’s not so much that I make assumptions about individual men rather than it influences how I see and move through the world. I stay alert in areas where I’m vulnerable, I have a resting removed face, I don’t take the window seat on the bus, etc.

            Misogynistic ideas like women are better shaved don’t always come from men, but it’s usually coming from men. And that’s just my personal experience.

            • abbotsbury@lemmy.world
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              15 days ago

              It’s not so much that I make assumptions about individual men

              I’m sorry, are you backtracking? I thought you said

              I do tend to assume that men I don’t know are malicious as a baseline

              Being vigilant isn’t prejudice, being vigilant because of race, sex, sexual orientation, gender identity, etc, is.

              Misogynistic ideas like women are better shaved don’t always come from men, but it’s usually coming from men. And that’s just my personal experience.

              Okay, so what? Personal experiences aren’t an excuse for prejudice.

              • Velma@lemmy.today
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                15 days ago

                I wouldn’t have to be as vigilant if men weren’t a danger to me. That’s just the truth of the world.

                A man can easily overpower me anytime, anywhere. Of course I have to move through the world somewhat prepared for those situations.

                I’ve only ever come across men that are vocal about women with body hair.