Not actually a shower thought; this occurred while waiting in line to cross the border from Canada back to the US. In fact, I had a double “I told you so” for my wife in that line, and she clearly knew it. The past 3 years we’ve visited my wife’s parents over the holidays but I’ve always said I want to get back across the border before New Year’s Day in part because traffic would be better, but this year with the dates she convinced me and insisted we never have to wait at Champlain so it would be fine. As we approached the border and message signs announced waits exceeding an hour I had my first one. Then as we were waiting in line I noticed there was basically no line for the NEXUS lane, which I’ve been pushing for years but she felt we didn’t need because the application sounded complicated and “we never have to wait” at border crossings.
Not saying anything is more gracious, anyway, and saves an argument from touching a sore spot.
Yeah, but you gotta look smug.
“Oh, me? I didn’t say anything!”
“You know damn well what you want to say! Go ahead! Say it! Say what you want!”
“I’m sure I haven’t a clue what you’re talking about.”
With your nose in the air, and a grin on your face.
“Heavens to betsy, I do declaire the wait at this border is quite high, wouldn’t you saaaaaaaay dear?”
I don’t know why I envision you, regardless of gender, transitioning more and more into a victorian era elitist woman.
Wearing one of those big poofy dresses that gets real skinny at the waist, but then balloons at the hips, like there’s a hula hoop under her dress. That sort of thing.
😂 I’m working on taming my inner beasts. I imagine it’s a lifetime endeavor (and I also imagine for some, excessive humility can be a wild beast).
Those skirts did have hoops! https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hoop_skirt
Oh my god…it’s like I’m looking at the skirts BONES!!! It looks so weird. It IS so weird!!! Why did they invent this???
Funny you should say that - as a matter of fact, whale bone was frequently used in women’s dresses and corsets back in those times.
According to the wiki, to keep heavy skirts and petticoats away from the body so they weren’t as hot, corsets, bustiers, girdles and heels are other torture devices are mind-boggling. I understand brasseries, though.
I’ve become more and more empathetic with age, to the point where I sometimes feel bad about being correct and in a “told you so” situation. It’s weird. I have found myself couching it with like, “well it was confusing, and I get why you thought it was X” or, “Oh wow, I thought I was wrong and you were right. That’s surprising actually,” or whatever, to soften the blow.
I think what it comes down to is: I don’t want to make a person feel bad for being wrong about something because that’s how you learn. I probably overcorrect a bit though…
I know how it feels for people to both humiliate and give grace, when I was wrong, so giving grace feels weird at a time, when we’re socialized to abuse (noun, verb, take your pick), but it feels so good when equilibrium is retained or restored, from that grace.
Balance is tricky, because we’re all individuals in a collective with our own wounds to navigate.
I’m usually more interested in what they learned than rubbing their face in it.
Like, are they going to listen to me next time or are we going to keep having this problem?