I’ve spoken French my whole life. The only consistent thing I can think of versus English is the prononciaton of “c” or “g” with the succeeding vowel. Otherwise it’s such a mess. “Eau” (water) has three vowels, but is pronounced like the one vowel that is not in it: “o”. Almost all words have letters that aren’t pronounced, but you can’t tell from any rules. You just have to know how the word is pronounced and written.

English pronunciation and spelling is indeed also fairly inconsistent, but I still make a lot less spelling mistakes even though it’s not my first language.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Igor_and_Grichka_Bogdanoff

Laverne from Day of the Tentacle:

Do you mean Fuel?