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Now you’re stuck in a life you didn’t expect to see so it’s kinda awkward because you weren’t supposed to be here.
Feels like those videogames in which you fall off the map or glitch in a way that lets you get to a part where you shouldn’t be and everything is weird because the game itself isn’t prepared for what’s happening.
Also yeah, mother is a narcissist, father is emotionally stunted and both were heavy drinkers and smokers when I was a kid. Yay! I relate!
Wrong!
My father is the narcissist and my mom is emotionally stunted.
Damn you must be messed up
And with an unexpected decades to go
In reality you parents are almost certainly also neurodivergent too
My dad is, 100%. Does that mean he’ll care and get a diagnosis? Hell no
My mother tries to use it as an excuse now that Ive been diagnosed.
NPD and autism both run in My family. I have NPD and autism and I was abused by My primary caretaker because of her neurodivergence. She had (and I wouldn’t say this if I weren’t tilted by the slur in the OP) “malignant untreated autism”. By which I mean, she had language difficulties with My new name and pronouns, and the constant noise she needed for her sensory issues provoked My sensory issues.
It is possible for the ND community to all get along and work against neuronormaty. But it’ll never happen while autistic pickmes are out here demonising NPD.
Are you trying to make narcissist a slur like boomers?
The boomers would never do something so based
Are you a troll? They literally have been boomers saying it’s a slur and maybe they can’t help it with the damage from all the lead.
Post source or it didn’t happen.
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space travel’s in my blood, nothing I can do about it babe…
Holy fuck, I’ve never felt like the eye of sauron was looking directly at me until now.
yeah this is exactly me. I didnt intend to even make it to 18 yet here i am
I damn near ended up in the military I was so shocked to survive high school. Fuckin what the hell was I going to do? My routine! It was all gone!
So no one told you life was gonna be this way
They should have. Not a day goes by where I don’t curse my parents for bringing me into this lonely capitalist hellscape. A head’s up would have been appreciated.
Has anyone out there survived this character creation diceroll?
I got a 16 in stair jumping
That is a pretty lit stat. I guess I’d dump a few scores for that
Focus: 19
Executive Function: 1, always at disadvantageOther stats vary on a wide spectrum based on the constant flow of buffs and debuffs related to those main stats
Eh. My mom and dad are really cool and pretty progressive people. But my mom has terrible anxiety and my dad has adhd. Guess who got both?
If I’d known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself.
Why is the autism community demonising people with NPD? Can’t the neurodivergent community stand together against ableism?
To be honest, autistic people who hate narcissitic people give Me the same vibe as gay people who hate trans people. It’s putting other people within the community down as if they’re our oppressors. Hey, maybe a neuronormative society is the cause of our suffering, and demonising egodivergence is just enforcing a bigoted worldview that will come back to hurt us.
inb4 Narcissus
Narcisssus was an aroace 16 year old who got put to death by the gods because he snapped back at a sexual harasser who abused him. A lot of people try to dodge accountability for what they say about NPD by saying they were talking about Greek mythology. But TBH that’s just as offensive.
Many of us have had turbulent relationships with parents or siblings. Combine that with the cloud of pop-psy disinfo surrounding personality disorders it’s bound to happen.
I personally don’t know how to call it out without making people feel like I’m blaming them for something real they suffered at the hands of a disregulated person, or an average abuser who they perceive to be disregulated. Coming at the issue from that side just seems like it will only spread the stigma.
One thing I did to try and help was invent the word “theseist”, based on the Greek Theseus, who abandoned his GF on an island and kidnapped 12 year old Helen of Troy to marry her, because he thought it would bring him glory. Theseus deserves the hate, and there’s no link to any mental disorders or other stigmas. We can give people new, better words to replace the bad ones.
But I was honestly so tilted by this meme, because I expect better from the community. We should be better than this, I was shocked and betrayed and angry. So My first instinct was not to give people better words, it was to react.
But yeah I don’t have the luxury of not engaging with people who use these tropes. I have NPD and I’m ace, so I get hit with both of the stigmas of this word. It triggers Me in the moment, and it contributes to a societal culture that has abused Me time after time. It’s easy to DARVO a n*rcissist.
We are you capitalizing my and me?
Neopronouns
Poorly worded memes aside this really is one of the places on fediverse where you have no enemies. Lady Butterfly is pretty chill and empathetic when she’s actually running the account manually so I think she’d get it. I’ve seen you go to bat for other stigmatized people who to my knowledge you didn’t have an intersection in common with so I think you deserve that too.
As for everyone’s awareness of personality disorders, it’s all a work in progress right? Gotta meet people where they’re at. And I hope where you’re at feels better soon.
Yeah, Lady Butterfly is great every other time I’ve seen her, so I was really surprised. Did you say she’s automated her account?
Thanks for the kind words. Unfortunately, they’re not all true, as this community does have some people who are not allies. I’ve just received a private message from the mod of the community claiming that My reports against the ableist slur are false. I’m told I’ll be banned if I do it again. And I’ve also received… this hate speech
I really want to report the hate speech, but I’ve been clearly warned that I’ll be banned if do, so I don’t think I can. I don’t feel safe in this community right now at all.
Not fully automated, she just scheduled posts. I’m pretty sure she’s behind the wheel for her discussion posts on c/womensstuff at the very least. She definitely leaves comments still
Thanks. I hope she sees My comment.
Hey can you not equate a myth about ego centrism and self obsession with a valid sexuality k thanks.
Narcissus was a 16 year old boy who just wanted to be a hunter. Much like the goddess Artemis, he wanted to live in the forest and eschew all romantic and sexual connections.
He may have preferred isolation because he was famous across all of the Hellenic world for his great beauty. And no matter how many people asked this teenage boy for his hand in marriage or to have intimate relations, he refused.
There was one man, Ameinias, who would propose marriage to Narcissus again and again. He wouldn’t take no for an answer. One day, narcissus got completely fed up with it, and gave Ameinias a sword. He told the sexual harasser to go kill himself.
Ameinias did as he was told, and stabbed himself in the heart with the sword. But before he died, he prayed to Nemesis, “Though he should love, let him not have what he loves!” Nemesis agreed.
Narcissus loved nobody, at least not romantically or erotically. But after Nemesis agreed to Ameinias’ prayer, he noticed his reflection in a pond. Recognising himself for the first time in the way other people saw him, he became infatuated. Narcissus had neither food nor drink for the rest of his life. He simply sat and stared at himself until he died.
When he died, the nymphs of the forest, who loved him, grew flowers around his body. Narcissus flowers.
Nemesis is the goddess of punishment for hubris. She punishes mortals who think they’re better than the gods. Why would she punish Narcissus?
My theory is: The ancient Greeks (and their gods) were so aphobic, they thought if someone didn’t want to have sex, it’s because they think they’re better than everyone else.
I recognise that aphobic Greeks and aphobic westerners have lied to you about this myth. But Narcissus is our history, as asexuals. This is what people thought of us for 2,000 years. And it needs to change.
First thing to remember: this is a myth
Second thing to remember: you are trying to play chicken with a retelling of an already ancient myth by Ovid (who isn’t fucking greek) who uses it as a way to explore concepts of obsession and - you guessed it! - narcissistic self involvement.
Literally, the original story makes no mention of echo, but a whole lot about the dude being a little bastard who was so self involved the only thing he could love was himself. Ovid added some things, but narcissus was never a woobie aroace, that shit is internet headcanon. Headcanons are fun, but don’t pretend this is scholarly fact.
Actually, all the stuff about Ameinias is from Conon’s Narrations, a Greek text from between 63 BC and 14 CE.
I’m gonna have to press X to doubt on you having read the “original story”, since it was an oral tradition that later got transcribed to text. I’ve cited both Ovid and Conon. Would you like to cite a specific scholar, or would you rather claim you personally went back in time 2,000+ years to talk to the original oral storytellers?
EDIT: Conon also wrote:
And from that the Thespians honor and reverence Eros especially, and learned to sacrifice to him both in the common rituals and privately.
According to this ancient greek scholar, we need to have sex even if we don’t want to, out of deference to the gods. Cause they’re aphobes. And you’re making excuses for them.
And from that the Thespians honor and reverence Eros especially, and learned to sacrifice to him both in the common rituals and privately.
Thespia was a city. You can’t claim all of Ancient Greece was aphobic because a single city specifically worshipped Eros
I think most of Ancient Greece was aphobic, because most Ancient Greeks hated Narcissus for “rejecting Eros”, as Conon puts it.
What’s your source for " most Ancient Greeks hated Narcissus"
I never said “I read the original story” so that straw argument doesn’t apply. Shockingly bad attempt for you to try on a written forum.
I was however, referring to the Parthenius Papyrus.
Parthenius Papyrus.
That’s currently the earliest known I believe, not necessarily the original.
Yes, sorry - thank you for that correction. I was imprecise.
Parthenius’ version doesn’t say a whole lot about Narcissus being a little bastard. It says one line:
He had a cruel heart, and hated all of them,
That’s not really a source, it’s a completely subjective judgement. As a rule, I tend not to trust gossip about a person that says they’re bad, but not why. Because we don’t really know why Parthenius judged Narcissus. Conon said Narcissus was bad because he was asexual, so I’ll hazard a guess that Parthenius may have agreed. Because it’s literally the only clue we have about why Parthenius insulted Narcissus.
You do realise you’ve just said you won’t “believe” sources that don’t confirm your own bias
It might have something to do with the large number of narcissists running the world currently. Just a thought
Same way I hate pedofiles that hurt children.
I see you’re commenting from lemmy.blahaj.zone. You realise conservatives say the exact same thing about you and Me because we’re trans, as you’re saying about Me because I have NPD?
Hatred is a double edged sword and if you use it on people in the community, you’ll cut your own nose off.
I said who hurt children, if you are able to control yourself and not hurt others with your npd then everything is fine but if you show a history of abuse then you wouldn’t be welcome in my circle. I even have empathy for people with issues they have to combat themselves to not hurt others. Pedos, npd, suicidal people.
Mental disorders don’t make people abuse kids. You’re operating off a mistaken prejudice against neurodivergence.
Yes they can.
People have free will. Hurting other people is a choice that people make. Having a mental disorder is not a choice, it’s something that happens to people because of genetics or chemistry or trauma.
Not only that, but now I’m emotionally stunted and married to a narcissist, and our son is neurodivergent.
I’m so sorry that your partner has to put up with a spouse who demonises their neurodivergence.
I was an asshole here, edited but you are being mean.
I understand that I was pretty sassy in the above comment, but regardless of My sass I do have to ask: Do you normally make a point of insulting people in relation to their mental disorders?
When they are trying to use it as a shield for their abuse I do.
Well I don’t. I’m not going to blame your hate speech on any of your minority statuses. I think this abuse is a choice you’re making because of prejudice.
Which five of these traits do you think are easy to handle in a spouse?
- Inflated self-esteem or a grandiose sense of self-importance or superiority
- Craving admiration
- Exploitative relationships (i.e., manipulation)
- Little to no empathy
- Identity is easily disturbed (i.e., can’t handle criticism)
- Lack of attachment and intimacy
- Feelings of depression or emptiness when not validated
- A sense of entitlement
- Can feel like others are envious of them, or may envy others
Getting symptoms under control is a necessary component of people with certain mental illnesses avoiding doing harm to those particularly close to them, especially romantic partners. The entirety of the cluster B is this way.
Now if their partner has gotten their symptoms under control but they’re still mad they had them at all or that they have to keep doing the work, then I’ll say you’ve got a point.
1, 2, 4, 6, 7, 8, 9.
I’ve been in the NPD community for plenty of time. I’ve been abused by people with NPD, and I’ve been abused by egotypicals, and I’ve even been abused by people with BPD. I usually date people with BPD. I can handle those 7 pretty easily. I also can and am handling 3 and 5 in one of My current partners, despite the difficulty. We’ve been together for nearly 5 years and we love each other very much.
But also, that diagnostic model is outdated and no longer considered correct by leading psychologists in the field. Look up the dimensional model in the DSM-5 and DSM-5-TR appendix.
When and how did you find out your partner is a narcissist?
My dad was neglectful undiagnosed autistic, my mom was emotionally volatile undiagnosed ADHD. And I am traumatized (cPTSD) AuDHD
Swap around the parent rolls, a dash of a middle sister as bad as any bully, and bam you have my family “life.”
Damn, I just thought your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberry.
Reverse the mom and dad part and trade the thing with anxiety and you got it nailed on the head.
Put the mom and dad part on my dad and we’re there
