No judgment.

  • Volkditty@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    Happily married for 10 years, but my wife’s independent streak was one of the main things that attracted me to her. We share plenty, but it’s always been important to us to have our own hobbies, friend groups, and private time. I don’t want to be her whole reason for living and I don’t want her to be mine.

    • neo2478@sh.itjust.works
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      2 months ago

      I feel this is so underrated and often looked down on relationships, but it’s so healthy.

      I find my relationship to my wife stronger because of it. We are not together because we need to but because we chose to every day.

  • j4k3@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    Multiple passionate independent hobby interests with curiosity and depth. Really, that is my indicator of a potential unconstrained abstracted mind; a potential coexplorer that can find interesting tidbits in almost anything in life—which is what I’ve always wanted. I choose to remain an unconstrained nomad otherwise. I successfully avoided a few reality-TV-evenings zombies from my younger years and avoiding those anchors was one of my best choices in life. I would have made them miserable.

  • FiveMacs@lemmy.ca
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    2 months ago

    When I was looking for a partner just someone that would listen to my crazy ramblings about things I enjoy and constant changing of topics (ADHD or whatever). Basically just show an interest in things I find interesting.

    I’ve completely stopping looking for a partner in the last few years, fell into a depression hole and don’t see any light at the moment. Just keeping my head above water mostly these days.

    • Infynis@midwest.social
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      2 months ago

      That’s one of my favorite traits in my partner. She’s great at keeping the conversation going, which is important, because I’m terrible at it lol

      When we get high together, there’s usually about an hour period, that I call her Wikipedia time, where she finds a random topic, and has to talk about it at length

    • Alteon@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      You have to get out of your daily cycle to find someone. Dating apps suck. Meetups are fantastic to meet new people and develop new friend circles. It’s how I met my best friend, and my life evolved from there. Don’t give up. You’ll find someone eventually.

        • Alteon@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          Well, for starters, there are hobby related meetups. I did boardgames and made several friends through that. There are also Singles meetups for certain age ranges. Where they go to go to bars, breweries, or other activities - essentially somewhere where they can meet and talk. My best friend met his current wife at one. Check them out. You’d be surprised what’s available. There are book clubs, sports leagues, etc.

          Find something that interests you, and maybe you’ll make a connection with someone.

  • grrgyle@slrpnk.net
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    2 months ago

    Not looking anymore because I found it, but it’s not wanting to make more kids. Adopting or step kids would have been fine, but making more while there are kids out there looking for a home would be too much for me.

  • beliquititious@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    2 months ago

    The only hard requirements I have for a partner are that they are attracted to me and have reasonable hygiene practices. It’s a bonus if they’re a degenerate kinkster or are willing and able to deal with a half-feral, half-crazy, cat lady for any real length of time. But I also am totally fine with that person bouncing because that’s a lot.

  • Cagi@lemmy.ca
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    2 months ago

    I only date women, for context. I’m a sucker for really crisp diction.

    • RBWells@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      That is what I’d do if I ever was divorced or widowed. If we can make it and retire I don’t want more kids, we raised so many. But it’s really the best work I’ve done. I would take in a couple more if I was single. Not babies, older kids. It’s hard though.

  • jpreston2005@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    kindness, fitness, similar sex drive, sense of humor, willingness to try new things, likes to celebrate (something I struggle with)

  • spacecadet@lemm.ee
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    2 months ago

    It’s not a deal breaker, but I’m a guy who is into female bodybuilders. I lift a lot myself and have always been attracted to muscle. The bigger the muscles the sexier.