• zerozaku@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    Visit a ‘third space’ at a consistent time weekly, e.g. coffee shop, bar, library, gym (note: the point is not to practice pickup lines, it’s to get used to being around people. If you go regularly, you’ll start to feel comfortable with the other regulars)

    Level 1: Go outside Level 2: Go outside regularly Level 3: Respond to interactions Level 4: Initiate interactions Level 5: Make friends

    I wish I could get to Level 2 at least.

      • zerozaku@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        I think they happen naturally if you are visiting same place weekly at the same time. The waiter/cashier/or anyone who is regular to that coffee shop would try to initiate some interaction with you.

        • aStonedSanta@lemm.ee
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          3 months ago

          This is a good idea. Also if you find an employee that is nice. Tell them the truth. You are trying to work on socializing. You’d be surprised a lot of people really are happy to help you if you ask for help 💜

      • aStonedSanta@lemm.ee
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        3 months ago

        I’ve found when I’m feeling comfortable in public I notice other people’s belongings and can relate it to why I might want to interact with them.

        Like if at the store I see someone with a band T-shirt I like I’ll try to just mention to them I’m a big fan and like their shirt. Is it gonna crate a friendship? Who the fuck knows. But I spoke to a stranger. And it wasn’t weird it felt friendly and nice 😊

        • peopleproblems@lemmy.world
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          3 months ago

          Actually the one time I spoke to a girl in the past 6 months was about her BMW. We actually had a good short conversation. What was funny is that when I asked her “hey, is that your BMW?” Because I didn’t see her get out of it - her response was “Yes, why?!?!” In a bit of a panic. So even bumpy landings work.

          Thanks for that bit.

          Maybe I’ll go to a local coffee place and just order my white chocolate mocha, and do it enough to say things to people.

          • aStonedSanta@lemm.ee
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            3 months ago

            Yes! People might respond with initial anxiety and fear. Simply due to surprise. But I’ve found smiling and calm tone can help transfer that into a normal exchange rather than me freaking out internally this person now thinks I’m a rapist/murder cause I said hello 😆