I knew it was satire because there’s no way he’d give a discount.

It’s convenient that the gavel is used both for auctions and for courtrooms. Both situations apparently boil down to giving it to the highest bidder.

I bet that this corrupt asshole has been sniffing for counteroffers since Oliver’s show.

I’ll bet the biggest stick in his eye is not that everyone is laughing at him, it’s that he sees how cheaply he sold out.