Honestly I’ve been so quiet about it offline, and one time I just said no thanks to cake as I don’t eat dairy, etc, and the whole room alternately made fun of me and told me why I was wrong and meatsplaines until I got up and left.
i hear you - i’ve basically learned to avoid any topic or activity related to food with other people irl, which really sucks.
cooking is one of my favorite hobbies, can’t talk to my friends about it anymore. hell, a close friend from high school completely stopped talking to me because we had literally one very reasonable and civil (from my perspective) debate about veganism. it’s been years since i heard from them.
i got a single one of my close friends to even consider trying it, and i’ve been too anxious to even bring it up since last we spoke about it - a couple years ago now. they didn’t seem to believe in the ethics/lifestyle of it and i’m terrified of learning that this person i care so much about has decided that their sensory pleasure is worth more than the lives of the animals they eat.
my experiences with speaking about veganism to the people that i care about is that it is a taboo subject; one that will make other people upset with me and potentially ruin relationships. and i think that fucking sucks.
I even posted a picture of my dinner one night on Facebook, and it happened to catch a picture of my spouse’s dinner across from mine which visibly had cheese on it as he’s not vegan, and all my friends pounced on it and began haranguing me, they obviously thought it was hilarious.
One of my CW is vegan, and another staff member brought her a frosted cake, and just said to her “Oh sorry didn’t have time to get a vegan cake”, and stood there expecting her to eat it. Like what do they not get? We commiserate a lot. My spouse is also on a special diet for gastroparesis, which means he can’t have corn and legumes as well as other things, and that makes our mealtimes really fraught with arguments.
I love cooking, and while i don’t have any vegan friends that i cook for, i really appreciate my other friends just “trusting me” and eat whatever i cook for them. Probably the biggest and weirdest compliment i get is: “no way, that’s vegan?”
It’s still a bit weird to be treated like an alien. Like when i cook for my sister and family, she always cooks “real food” on the side for people who don’t like it. Kinda bizzare, but whatever.
I think it’s easy to cope with for me because i also don’t drink, and people absolutely lose their shit when they find out. “Never?” “Not even wine for dinner?” “You can have a beer and still drive you know.” “But it’s really good.” “You can hardly even taste the alcohol.”
Or being a dude who doesn’t care about football around here. “What? You NEVER watch football? But you support your local team, right?” “So you only watch the euro championship?” “No? Only world cup?” “NO? But you still support your country?”
People are just opposed to things they don’t understand.
We have a friend with an egg allergy, dairy allergy, and MMA. They’re vegan as well by choice but it’s made me very careful. I’ve briefly upset a few vegans and vegetarians by questioning them in a bit more depth. It’s happened much less over time as I’ve refined how I clarify and ask.
I’m always amused when someone says vegetarian. Okay, what type? Can I serve you cheese? Eggs? Fish? One of my coworkers is also vegetarian but eats chicken…which was new to me.
I thought the chicken one was just a meme from the 90’s because it was somewhat common for vegetarians to eat chicken. An old lady asked me if i eat fish, after asking me all kinds of other questions. She went: not even fish?? But they don’t have blood.
What does that has to do with anything, and yes they do.
I think it’s religious? I didn’t have a chance to dig in at the time.
My primary concern was getting all the different vegetarians to identify what type they were. As an example one of them was lacto-vegetarian but was fine if eggs were in something (bread). I was laser focused on by feeding everyone with appropriate diets and allergy considerations.
Honestly thinking back I wish I’d had the time for more detail. We had someone with a lethal fish allergy and another with a crustacean allergy so never asked about sea food. Wonder if it was a religious and/or cultural thing to not eat pigs or cows.
Honestly I’ve been so quiet about it offline, and one time I just said no thanks to cake as I don’t eat dairy, etc, and the whole room alternately made fun of me and told me why I was wrong and meatsplaines until I got up and left.
i hear you - i’ve basically learned to avoid any topic or activity related to food with other people irl, which really sucks.
cooking is one of my favorite hobbies, can’t talk to my friends about it anymore. hell, a close friend from high school completely stopped talking to me because we had literally one very reasonable and civil (from my perspective) debate about veganism. it’s been years since i heard from them.
i got a single one of my close friends to even consider trying it, and i’ve been too anxious to even bring it up since last we spoke about it - a couple years ago now. they didn’t seem to believe in the ethics/lifestyle of it and i’m terrified of learning that this person i care so much about has decided that their sensory pleasure is worth more than the lives of the animals they eat.
my experiences with speaking about veganism to the people that i care about is that it is a taboo subject; one that will make other people upset with me and potentially ruin relationships. and i think that fucking sucks.
I even posted a picture of my dinner one night on Facebook, and it happened to catch a picture of my spouse’s dinner across from mine which visibly had cheese on it as he’s not vegan, and all my friends pounced on it and began haranguing me, they obviously thought it was hilarious.
One of my CW is vegan, and another staff member brought her a frosted cake, and just said to her “Oh sorry didn’t have time to get a vegan cake”, and stood there expecting her to eat it. Like what do they not get? We commiserate a lot. My spouse is also on a special diet for gastroparesis, which means he can’t have corn and legumes as well as other things, and that makes our mealtimes really fraught with arguments.
So I feel you. Most people don’t get it at all.
I love cooking, and while i don’t have any vegan friends that i cook for, i really appreciate my other friends just “trusting me” and eat whatever i cook for them. Probably the biggest and weirdest compliment i get is: “no way, that’s vegan?” It’s still a bit weird to be treated like an alien. Like when i cook for my sister and family, she always cooks “real food” on the side for people who don’t like it. Kinda bizzare, but whatever. I think it’s easy to cope with for me because i also don’t drink, and people absolutely lose their shit when they find out. “Never?” “Not even wine for dinner?” “You can have a beer and still drive you know.” “But it’s really good.” “You can hardly even taste the alcohol.” Or being a dude who doesn’t care about football around here. “What? You NEVER watch football? But you support your local team, right?” “So you only watch the euro championship?” “No? Only world cup?” “NO? But you still support your country?” People are just opposed to things they don’t understand.
Just decline without giving a reason
If pressed, say you don’t feel like it
We have a friend with an egg allergy, dairy allergy, and MMA. They’re vegan as well by choice but it’s made me very careful. I’ve briefly upset a few vegans and vegetarians by questioning them in a bit more depth. It’s happened much less over time as I’ve refined how I clarify and ask.
I’m always amused when someone says vegetarian. Okay, what type? Can I serve you cheese? Eggs? Fish? One of my coworkers is also vegetarian but eats chicken…which was new to me.
I thought the chicken one was just a meme from the 90’s because it was somewhat common for vegetarians to eat chicken. An old lady asked me if i eat fish, after asking me all kinds of other questions. She went: not even fish?? But they don’t have blood. What does that has to do with anything, and yes they do.
I think it’s religious? I didn’t have a chance to dig in at the time.
My primary concern was getting all the different vegetarians to identify what type they were. As an example one of them was lacto-vegetarian but was fine if eggs were in something (bread). I was laser focused on by feeding everyone with appropriate diets and allergy considerations.
Honestly thinking back I wish I’d had the time for more detail. We had someone with a lethal fish allergy and another with a crustacean allergy so never asked about sea food. Wonder if it was a religious and/or cultural thing to not eat pigs or cows.