Not actually a shower thought; this occurred while waiting in line to cross the border from Canada back to the US. In fact, I had a double “I told you so” for my wife in that line, and she clearly knew it. The past 3 years we’ve visited my wife’s parents over the holidays but I’ve always said I want to get back across the border before New Year’s Day in part because traffic would be better, but this year with the dates she convinced me and insisted we never have to wait at Champlain so it would be fine. As we approached the border and message signs announced waits exceeding an hour I had my first one. Then as we were waiting in line I noticed there was basically no line for the NEXUS lane, which I’ve been pushing for years but she felt we didn’t need because the application sounded complicated and “we never have to wait” at border crossings.
The worst ones are when they say “I told you so, but what am I?”
That’s not even the right PHRASE!
I love botched idioms so much. “It’s not rocket surgery” is my go to, but the best ones are unintentional (and completely torture the original).
Best I’ve heard lately was on the air, local NPR affiliate, and the unfortunate lass said something, complimenting I think a film director, saying “He’s hitting all cylinders at just the very top level”.
(The original is “firing on all cylinders”, which just describes an internal combustion engine working properly and not suffering from that particular degradation, cylinders misfiring. Hitting them, anywhere, let alone “at the top level”, is utter nonsense and it was delightful to me, she flat out abused that idiom)
Edit to add: some related favs which aren’t quite botched idioms but which kinda “rhyme” with the idea - both meaning “okay, time to get the thing done”:
ENTIRELY possible that this exact line is what sent me down the path of noticing and loving tortured idioms. And I forgot all about it, so thanks!!
My favorite recently was when a friend said, “Reap the fruit of my loins”.
So, like, labor and delivery?
You would love some of the “Fick-isms” from the Arisen book series.
“Hey! If you put your dirty dick beaters on her again I’m gonna light you on fire and put it out with a fork!”
Color me intrigued!
Its a zombie apocalypse book series following the last of the spec ops operators in the world as they hit hot zones and try to piece together the elements of the cure the world was working on before everywhere but the UK was overrun.
The Audiobook is particularly good.
Worst-case ontario
Passed with flying carpets
It’s not rocket appliances
It’s just water outta the fridge
Delicious. That last one especially, scrolls right off the tongue.
Feels like something Ricky from Trailer Park Boys would deliver.