• werefreeatlast@lemmy.world
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    22 days ago

    I’m a rep for United Morgues R US. I just wanted to talk to you about your dearly departed. Specifically the length, width and height please. Does he have insurance that covers the box or will it be openbox? We have pine boxes of every level but you might be interested in the special finishes like the seashore metalized powder coating. Its only $50k. Such a bargain. We have the burnado, which is an excellent way to prepare for diamonds of colors. The box comes pre-preg with the correct chemicals for blue diamond, ruby and other elegant colors. Making diamonds from your loved ones during the holiday is 50% off, at just $99k! But if you desire, we can also mulch, evaporate or Kitty litter your loved one. Some people preferred the mix with coffee option…that’s only $15/lb this week. Act now and we’ll deliver for free a custom deluxe, one of a kind gorme swiss army pin-like plastic hood ornament, on the house.