Realistically I wanna say that your last paragraph sounds perfectly worded to broach the topic with her.

It tells her that you do not fundamentally want to isolate her, that she should be able to talk about stuff with friends but that you want some things to be private or at least have a say on how or if something gets discussed with friends.

Maybe try to frame what the deciding factor is to make something private for you as well?

I do not feel comfortable if you air out our discussions on weaknesses when those are moments where I feel we can be vulnerable and frank with each other. I just do not want to feel like I share those critical moments with all our friends and family but I want to at least have time to digest it myself. If we improve and/or it feels like we have progressed from the topic I think it is fair game but otherwise it really puts pressure on me.

Maybe something like this, if it fits what you are feeling?

But I think discussing it is the right way forward and I know how hard it can be to talk with a partner about stuff like this.

I think its way smaller than Reddit and its very easy to recognize frequent posters/commenters. You also have more impact more easily.

I would echo the others on that it is your choice on how much info you give out about yourself.

I think its crazy to get told that you are a manipulator when I think you are genuine. Especially with age I feel it can be very different how people behave in specific age ranges. If this interaction has felt like too much I think that is very understandable and its always your choice on how to proceed.

I also have to echo the others in saying that I found your postings very entertaining and would be sad to see you go, but you will always have to do whats best for you. I think the other commenter is an asshat though.

Personally I have already deleted some accounts, and having a new fresh slate can be real nice. So experiment with whatever you feel like. And thanks for sharing your silly thoughts until now. Especially a few of the hornier memes were perfect things I could forward to my friends and they also loved it.

Oh this is a cool perspective. In a different setting I know of groups that had dedicated people as points of contact for newcomers. I think they had a specific outfit that marked them as the person to go to to get introduced to the others and the idea really stuck with me because I think it really creates a more welcoming atmosphere for newcomers.

I just think its probably not the same person. The profile picture does not look like him to begin with and I don’t think this whole interaction sounds like him.

The quote from the article would be this

Wie sieht es bei den Kosten aus? Wird Open Source für den Steuerzahler billiger als proprietäre Software – oder teurer?

Ich gehe davon aus, dass die Kosten sich ungefähr die Waage halten. Aber mit Open Source bekommen wir fürs gleiche Geld mehr Flexibilität, mehr Souveränität, mehr Sicherheit. Deswegen lohnt sich das für uns

And I would agree with their reasoning that they get more for their money than with Windows.

I agree, I think in the context of the comic with „stoic and strong“ it does feel weird to say that they do not make you weak, because he is obviously struggling.

Like you I think the point should be more about generally building up to better deal with all our emotions - even unwanted ones - and be more comfortable while experiencing them.

But I also see how in the comic it‘s easier to say to a buddy that he is not weak to comfort him to open up and then later on circle back to his ideas of strength and stoicism. But I think we have to rethink standards and ideas about masculinity and emotions for sure.

aaay that’s so cool! Thanks for setting it up Kaity! I’m looking forward to giving it both a try and thanks for providing a space (again)!

uh interesting. I think I like the setup of the joke in this one more but it is basically the same joke yes.

Possibly, but I also honestly find it an interesting idea.

The way it is described it doesn’t sound like they recommend doing it with total strangers but have a conflict/discussion with a group that can chime in but is not focused on resolving the conflict but more processing it together. And honestly I think for some people that could be a good way to potentially learn and hone their way of speaking to each other.

I also really like the contra-culture idea they establish that conflict does not have to be uncontrollable and that we are responsible and accountable for our behaviour in conflict. So I think this could be an experience where you are able to air things that unsettle you while reaffirming that you bring it up because you care about the other person.

But I‘m sure this is not for everyone and is most likely a potentially energy intense way. I think the meme as well is more aimed in: I wanna butt in and say my piece without really having skin in the game.

Hmm okay I think I get your point but I don‘t know if I follow the premise that a narrow definition of rape is ultimately better for rape survivors/victims.

I think I would argue that especially in public discourse opening up what sexual harassment is and how we define rape allows more victims to step forward and share their experiences.

In the example for male rape survivors for example a common contention to not believe them is that they could physically overpower their abuser. And awareness work aims to show that even strong men can be forced and coerced. (The actor from Brooklyn 911 was an example for that discourse)

So that’s why I would not feel its a disservice if we call it rape because as the others have mentioned, it hinges a lot on the fact that we have learnt that the victim was dead at that time.

Just wanted to share my perspective but I feel I get yours a bit better now

I see yes. Thanks for giving more context.

I do think they should actively start talking about candidates for sure yes. So I very much agree with her on this.

I mean I can kinda see the point of using kings instead of oligarchy. But using oligarchy is a bigger stab at the billionaires in the room as well so I still think it captures a bigger part of the problem.

Otherwise I think I‘m down for her saying that she wants to get stuff done but I mean is she? I‘m totally uninformed but being highly ignorant it reads a bit like a whatever statement. Like you mentioning it is also just a performative act so yeah shrug

I do think the Dems have a problem in establishing words and totally losing the plot or narrative control over their words. Woke totally slipped into an insult and I don‘t think that was an unavoidable thing. I think if Dems would go for more public social policies they would get a lot of the votes back they have been shedding but I think their oligarchic interests are in their way. Like Harris could’ve just campaigned on getting SOME change done and I think more people could’ve warmed up to her but that particular ship has sailed.

Thanks for linking the article and centring the discussion.

Yes I get that. I‘m looking forward to reading the comment and article you have linked and thanks for the insightful perspective. I hope you have a lovely day

interesting, thanks for writing it down like this.

If you allow the random question, is this persistence of class between communes also the reason you shifted from anarchism to Marxism? Because I think you do make a persuasive point and would like to know what changed your trajectory/mind.

I think they are thinking of the statue of liberty because she was in the news recently that the one French politician asked for her back. But yes, totally not the same statue/person referenced

I think your comment reads quite combative.

I think with the context of the Meme, yes there are some people who call you and you just know its gonna be a huge annoying phone call that you should just avoid and text the person after because some people just wanna talk your ears off.

I dunno if we have to do the: omg millenials/gen alpha is too phone anxious thing.

And sure its called a mobile phone, but as an argument that feels somewhat pedantic nowadays. Primarily its a mobile internet connected computer nowadays I would say. I use the camera/ texting/ social media functions way more than the real phone capabilities. Maybe thats different for you but I don’t think it’s uncommon that its one of the lesser used functions.

Sure if people are too anxious to pick up the phone and it negatively impacts their life they should get help for it. I don’t think we should shame them in that case though. It feels to me like shaming depressed people when they cannot find the energy to shower, which I would similarly feel is inadequate input.

Agreed especially on the comment as a showcase of „mod differences“.

I think this just rather corroborates Ada‘s statement of how there were multiple reports the mods did not follow up on and how Ada had to eventually always do it.

So even with a good faith reading I do not see how this is a problematic ban and not just a common recurring topic which this instance has always protected us from, which is the whole reason I am on this instance.

While I understand that the „modding differences“ were the reason you aimed to migrate, I as a user do not remotely see the benefits of a move when it was Ada that stepped up to do moderation. Especially if as Ada mentioned our community had reported these instances, a move would just signify a deterioration of our experience.

I have to reiterate that I have always appreciated Ada‘s decisions. The stepping up and sheltering many of us on the Reddit exodus and providing me with one of the few places nowadays I can go to and expect a civil, homely and communal experience.

I for one repeatedly have enjoyed your community management and moderation style.

I am happy and glad to know that someone as experienced and resourceful has always been committed to create, foster and defend a safe space like blahaj.

The fact that moderation specifically is cited as a reason to switch instances is worrisome to me and feels like it will not be a place for me I want to frequent and I am sad that you are being painted in a bad light here.

I thank you for your continuous good work and hope that this move at least eventually will lead to fewer bad moments for you, because you do not deserve to be treated badly with the care you are giving this community.

He is flirting with the alt-right. And some movements „dabble“ in nazi memorabilia to mention the most flagrant connections to it or his failure to even outright criticize Hitler.

I know that the word Nazi is really triggering but its also true in this case. He is not said to be a Nazi himself but flirting with them. Which is factual and not really discrediting per se.

If the only argument here is: Nazis can only be German and its a historical term that cannot ever be applied to other nations I think that belies how everyone consistently uses language in a not strict academic sense and even then there are academic papers linking him to Nazism and right ideology in general.

And your other insinuation of saying that „anyone who isnt working for a more just and equal society“ would be applicable to Trump, his campaign and the things he platforms falls flat if you look at what his recurring talking points are. Sure let’s use the word Nazi less bit of course in association with Trump it gets used for very clear, explicit parallels. But I don’t think you really care about that if you try to frame everything as tiny transgressions by people who are just not „fighting for a more just and equal society“. If Nazi is too strong a word, what would you propose? And is the use of it logically a valid reason to discredit an opinion? On an open source platform talking about people who have English as a second or third language?

yes I really liked it. Even the analysis/hypothesis that it really is the moment of „not getting pandered to“ that enrages that demographic. Any moment they do not feel like the target audience they take grave offense.