numbermess

Fucked

Had this conversation with my stepmom. She is complaining that peaches cost $1 each. She thinks this is too expensive and that the cost will go down now. I’m quietly kind of amazed that she thinks that she’ll even find a peach that didn’t rot on the ground for less than $10 or whatever they will cost once the labor goes up. I didn’t say anything to her about it because it just doesn’t matter anymore. It is pointless even to converse about any topic. We experience separate realities. She believes happy days are finally here, and I just don’t care if she sees another peach ever again in her lifetime. Whatever happens to the peaches is her fault.

So this cowboy puppy comes in here and says: I’m lookin for the man who shot my paw

Would also like to stop hearing the word Unhinged. I don’t think it carries any value anymore.

coRpse

Ben Stiller

They’ll fall in line pretty soon.

Revenant woman Screaming down the street Revenant woman The kind I’d like to stay very, very far the fuck away from

from “Revenant Woman” by Roy Orbison

I have about 5 pounds of bicentennial quarters.

Works every time!

Trump: No, many people are saying I’m the biggest whiner, like no one has ever seen, very whiny and powerful, frankly, and not only that, I’ll take it one step further with [invitation to stochastic terrorism]

I do like both of those things.

Excite Truck

This is fantastic

I never really thought this through all the way this until fairly recently, and it’s not just this instance in particular, but Nancy comics are pretty good.

Ah. Nevertheless,

It’s crazy that this is the kind of shit we’re counting on now. It used to be the Guardrails and then it was the Wheels of Justice grinding exceedingly fine and now it’s Maybe Something Good Will Happen at the Last Minute

Very legal and very cool

We don’t want Human Sam. We want Robot Sam.

I wonder how these arguments are going to go someday when we have weapons that can just emit a field that instantly gives people cancer or vibrates their hearts to death or erases a person’s memory. The MAGAs will all argue that is their right to leave out beacons that covers a certain radius and will just run around chuckling “you triggered? you mad bro? you got sudden bone cancer or an exploded heart bro? can’t remember your kids? cry more ahahaha” and Samuel Alito and Clarence Thomas will say of course these are fine, erasing peoples minds and having them drop to the ground when they encounter certain frequencies are just what the founding fathers intended (but keep those things a long fucking way away from us, of course)