That would have been the only footage of a human getting their head blown apart that I would have watched every day over breakfast.

Fuck, that sucks. I’m going to go look at you guys as much as possible. ❤️

I remember at least liking it a fair bit because it played a lot like Halo 1. I was a huge fan of the original and never cared as much for the sequels. I remember all of my friends got really into ODST, and I hated the direction it had taken the gameplay. So when Reach came out and felt comfortable in my hands again, I was stoked.

Where was Barron Trump when I was eleven and accidentally set a photo of a mostly-nude woman squatting down in red lingerie as my fucking wallpaper? Where was he then? Where was Barron when I tried like hell that night to remove it but didn’t know where to actually go, so I just turned the family computer off and hoped for the best? And where was Barron Trump when the following morning I woke up to my dad and my brother laughing their ass off, beckoning me to come have a look at the family computer, where I saw a mysterious, mostly-naked woman squatting down in red lingerie, titties and all? Where was Barron where my instinctual defense was to feign extreme disgust and pretend I didn’t like it or know anything about how it got there? Where was Barron then?

Let this serve as proof that overconsumption of Mondo Burgers in the '90s is directly linked to death.

What kind of privacy violations? Do the neighbors peek into your windows?

That Pledge of Allegiance shit really worked.

My sister-in-law has them all throughout her house and I’m just like, “You know you have a teenage boy, right? You ready for that?”

Lol, I know you deleted this comment (fair), but it still showed up in my inbox. But I get it. Everyone loves that film, so I’m in a very fringe minority here. It’s weird, too, because I love the post-apocalyptic genre, but I don’t know, man. I just really disliked Fury Road.

Conversely, I really enjoyed The Northman in the same way everyone else does Fury Road. I thought it was a really fun, over-the-top Viking rampage revenge film, with cool cinematography. But everyone hated it.

Mad Max: Fury Road. I thought that was dumbest, most caveman pleasing trash that has ever received that much acclaim. Truly, the entire movie is designed to make a caveman go, “OOhhhH!.. WwAaHh!.. FFIIRE!.. DwWoOah!.. HaHhh!.. OOhhhH! LaDy!!..HhaHh!.. MAD!!..WoOoHhh!”

I always screenshot a million things on my phone and then purge them all at once one day without even looking.

Old Long Johnson right there. Oh Don piano… 👑🌭😺

Reminder that you can achieve a free X Attack by taking away their iPad.

When I was an adolescent, I dreamt that I performed oral sex on a woman by putting my entire head inside of her vagina. Turns out that cunnilingus is nothing like my premonition, but I certainly had the texture figured out.

Internet says there’s no admission, so I must have misremembered that part. We did look around the gift shop a bit.

I’ve always purchased this specific brand and am afraid to dabble in any others. I’m living in Canada so I don’t know what the regulations are here, but the product is labeled as organic Echenacia extract and it seems to work well.

My wife and I found ourselves near Mt. Rushmore by happenstance durin a road trip several years back. We knew the history, but stopped in to see it for ourselves. We found it to be extremely shitty and underwhelming. The natural area behind the monument was incredible, and I absolutely understand why the indigenous people believed this place to be sacred, but the front was small, tacky, and depressing. I wish I could refund our admission and give it to some chill natives at a gas station instead.

I used to suffer extreme man colds as well, but losing the weight and quitting smoking/vaping did absolute wonders. Now when I get a cold I just rotate Acetamenophen and a low dose of Ibuprofen if I really need it, and take Echenacia 3x daily as though it’s an antibiotic, despite wise internet sages needing to remind me every time that it’s a placebo effect or their fucking heads will explode. Fortunately for me it’s a placebo effect that yields excellent results, unlike the copious amounts of other alternatives I’ve entertained that didn’t do shit for me.

I lived in the States for 30 years and Canada for 10. As an unofficial ambassador to both countries, I can confidently weigh in that you perfectly embody the American stereotype. You are loud, angry, spiteful, and removed. (starts with an R and ends with a D)

Flights that give Biscoff truly treat you like a king. Never mind all that other stuff. You’re on a Biscoff flight. 👑