Oh I totally got that. I was just trying to offer an alternative use of “reason” vs “excuse”. My parents use it too, but, as you’ve explained, in an attempt to establish hierarchy and remind me of my place.

And a shit ton of bosses who’ve done the same. I think it can be a useful tool but it’s almost never used that way.

The lord of the rings cartoon. I still don’t know wtf it is.

I second Deep Rock. I’ve recently got back into Destiny 2, which could be an option too. But it’s also a lot more than a simple fps. Plus it’s infuriating and addictive.

I do it with my kids. Not because I don’t want to hear the process, I do, but I want them to think about the root cause of why they do the things they do. Oversimplified example; why didn’t you do your homework? Well, I didn’t think about it. Ok, why didn’t you think about it? I was focused on (x thing). Sure, so why weren’t you able to remember you had homework? Etc, until we find what the reason was.

It’s like a 5 whys or drill down method. The root is the reason, almost everything before it is an excuse. Essentially I’m attempting to teach them to do this on their own to improve their problem solving abilities and, because they’re both ADHD, like me, to teach them to coping skills.

But yes, at work it’s often just an excuse to push an agenda in a demeaning way.