I’m great at breaking wind…

Don’t threaten him with a good time…

Have you seen how we treat driving in this country? Guns aren’t the problem, a culture of callous disregard for other humans is, and we’re not going to fix that by trying to take guns away.

Define “military grade”

Most car accidents involve at least one Toyota Camry. Does that mean Camrys are bad? No, it just means there are a lot of them.

Count me in too…

Also known as acts of god- so as long as you’re on god’s good side, those things won’t happen, and if they do, well obviously you did something to piss off god so you deserve it. QED.

Only if you have a really twisted definition of funny… Which I do, so carry on.

Surprised you’re not already banned just for the c-word. I mean, if someone crashes their car through a storefront, I could speculate without evidence that the driver was excessively old, young, drunk, or just plain stupid and it’s left up to the reader to take my comment with a grain of salt, but if I so much as entertain the possibility of this shooting being anything besides what is being reported by official channels, I must be silenced.

That’s not true, otherwise Phoenix would be unlivable. It’s close, but not quite there yet.

Same as Russian roulette…

Removed by mod

All of those things are possible, but statistically, being distracted is far more likely than any of them… More likely than most of them combined, even.

Once there was this girl who

Swore that one day she would be a figure skating champion

And when she finally made it

She saw some other girl who was better

And so she hired some guy to

Club her in the kneeeeee caaaaaaap

You just want to legalize murder!

/poeslaw

Surely nobody would go on the internet and tell lies…

Try '80s. Get off my lawn.

This is so fetch.

“have you tried not being poor?”

No shit?