This is basically the point of the straight edge movement

Be the change you want to see! Load up on cold cathode tubes and shove them in your PC or wherever else you can think of!

I’m still rocking an Audigy 2 on my main computer for that 1/4" jack on the front bay

The Samsung Galaxy Xcover Pro has all of those things plus a removable battery and can take a serious beating. I used to throw the phone almost daily to demonstrate it’s durability. The sides got dents and gouges, but I never once had a crack in the screen. The newer Xcover 6 Pro has all of the same features as well as an iPhone 12 quality camera.

I managed to kill one after breaking the charging port (ironically not related to years of repeatedly being thrown at concrete) and got a Unihertz Titan. Its basically an oversized modern Blackberry 8830 and has the same durability, battery life, and a physical keyboard. No removable battery unfortunately and the camera sucks though.