I have to write a paper about a place/time that I have an emotional attachment to or a place that has shaped my sense of self. I haven’t really felt much of an attachment to anything for most of my life. Even if I did, I wouldn’t even know how to begin describing the nature or cause of that attachment. I chose to write about the woods by my childhood home because I spent a lot of time there as a kid but I couldn’t tell you how I felt about it in the moment or even how I feel about it now. I literally don’t have the words
I deal with the same thing. I had written for several small publications, and one way I overcame my disconnect from emotion was just by stream of conscious describe things. The way I’m subconsciously describing it tends to reveal my feelings for it. Directly, i really feel nothing for it but under the layers I do have a sense of emotion for it.
I did have some success doing essentially what you said. My free writing was certainly a lot more colorful than the draft I produced. I had a hard time editing my free writing to fit the prompt, essentially stripping what little emotion there was out of it in order to make it flow. The ADHD also made it rough to stay on topic haha. I’d get really into what I was writing and then read it back and realize it was completely useless for the purposes of my essay