This is why I always debate on any given new place if I should list my preferred/assigned pronouns (because they’re all assigned originally, though the debates over the semantics of that are challenging), or not do so as way of showing that they shouldn’t matter anyway. As in they shouldn’t be requested by some random site or piece of paperwork, not that they don’t matter to people for themselves.
It doesn’t help that while I am cishet male, I don’t actually care what pronouns get used for me. I had long hair in the south in the eighties; I got over being called a girl a looong time ago because I reject the fucking misogyny inherent in people trying to weaponize it, and I managed to divorce myself of that same misogyny in my own perceptions of masculinity. Like, I’m genuinely fine with any pronoun, and I’m mostly on the side of working to just get rid of them entirely.
The mostly is because on a personal scale I don’t have the energy for that specific fight when there’s so many other ones that are dire.
So I end up just leaving such things blank when possible, they/them when I can’t select multiple as a point of effort at making the idea present.
Dang. Memes be all relevant and thought provoking up in this piece!
Its worth noting that cis allies, and others who don’t care about their pronouns, giving/listing pronouns no matter what they are, both normalize pronouns and act as a sort of smoke screen for trans individuals by making pronouns stand out less.
Its also worth thinking about how listing pronouns publicly or wearing pronoun pins/patches serves the above but also to communicate safety and acceptance to others.
It can’t be understated how nice it feels when you encounter someone while going through your day who’s visibly communicating themselves as an ally without any words about it being spoken.
This isn’t to disagree with any of your personal thoughts on it, just worth considering.
I actually have hats lol. Various symbols and iterations of the usual flags. Which isn’t the main point of your comment, but you’re absolutely correct about how even very subtle signs of support can be a positive experience. For everyone, since I very much enjoy the responses when someone in need of some public support says something about it. The sense of community can be thin on the ground, but it’s never stronger than when two strangers can find mutual respect.
I think I might well need to piddle around with the settings on my accounts on lemmy at the very least.
because I reject the fucking misogyny inherent in people trying to weaponize it, and I managed to divorce myself of that same misogyny in my own perceptions of masculinity
This is why I always debate on any given new place if I should list my preferred/assigned pronouns (because they’re all assigned originally, though the debates over the semantics of that are challenging), or not do so as way of showing that they shouldn’t matter anyway. As in they shouldn’t be requested by some random site or piece of paperwork, not that they don’t matter to people for themselves.
It doesn’t help that while I am cishet male, I don’t actually care what pronouns get used for me. I had long hair in the south in the eighties; I got over being called a girl a looong time ago because I reject the fucking misogyny inherent in people trying to weaponize it, and I managed to divorce myself of that same misogyny in my own perceptions of masculinity. Like, I’m genuinely fine with any pronoun, and I’m mostly on the side of working to just get rid of them entirely.
The mostly is because on a personal scale I don’t have the energy for that specific fight when there’s so many other ones that are dire.
So I end up just leaving such things blank when possible, they/them when I can’t select multiple as a point of effort at making the idea present.
Dang. Memes be all relevant and thought provoking up in this piece!
Its worth noting that cis allies, and others who don’t care about their pronouns, giving/listing pronouns no matter what they are, both normalize pronouns and act as a sort of smoke screen for trans individuals by making pronouns stand out less.
Its also worth thinking about how listing pronouns publicly or wearing pronoun pins/patches serves the above but also to communicate safety and acceptance to others.
It can’t be understated how nice it feels when you encounter someone while going through your day who’s visibly communicating themselves as an ally without any words about it being spoken.
This isn’t to disagree with any of your personal thoughts on it, just worth considering.
I appreciate the perspective :)
I actually have hats lol. Various symbols and iterations of the usual flags. Which isn’t the main point of your comment, but you’re absolutely correct about how even very subtle signs of support can be a positive experience. For everyone, since I very much enjoy the responses when someone in need of some public support says something about it. The sense of community can be thin on the ground, but it’s never stronger than when two strangers can find mutual respect.
I think I might well need to piddle around with the settings on my accounts on lemmy at the very least.
Pass the blunt homie. You’re getting all philosophical and shit. <3
Pffffffffff, cough hack wheeze 👌
🩷
thank you for making this comment! it’s really insightful to see gender-apathetic feelings coming from a cishet person ^^
Preach comrade
You sound like a cool dude
❤❤❤❤