People do that to me all the time. I just seem to radiate safety and people dump everything. I get that they need it, and sometimes (when I’m in a good headspace) I’m happy to provide an outlet for people who need one, but it gets really exhausting. I don’t even like small talk, I only bother with pleasantries because I’m supposed to, apparently.
(That trauma dumping is totally not the norm around here…)
It’s worth realizing some people do not want to be cheered up. My understanding is the misery, for lack of a better word, is more comforting to many as it reminds them of when they were young (or they emulate what they saw around them as children)
I’d rather take that then yet another soulless ‘how are you today’
just reply with “no, i’m not”
Do it the German way and just trauma dump. I mean if they didn’t care they shouldn’t have asked.
In Germany “how are you” is also smalltalk but you are not expected to lie. Just keep it short.
“Wie geht’s?”
“Nicht so gut gerade und bei dir?”
People do that to me all the time. I just seem to radiate safety and people dump everything. I get that they need it, and sometimes (when I’m in a good headspace) I’m happy to provide an outlet for people who need one, but it gets really exhausting. I don’t even like small talk, I only bother with pleasantries because I’m supposed to, apparently.
(That trauma dumping is totally not the norm around here…)
i’ve tried that but then we both lose
You don’t think people would go “aww how come you are down? Let me cheer you up”?
It’s worth realizing some people do not want to be cheered up. My understanding is the misery, for lack of a better word, is more comforting to many as it reminds them of when they were young (or they emulate what they saw around them as children)
I get that 100% and, although I am sure I made the mistake before, I am trying hard to understand and respect these boundaries
I am just saying I believe wearing such a pin to avoid people would have a noticeable cobra effect
Ahh I get u now. Yeah, that’s totally true