I started uni 2014 and I’ve still yet to finish it because of life BS. Dealing with depression / ADHD has made finishing my degree seem impossible for me to do and I feel like an absolute failure everyday because of it. I wasted many semesters attempting clases and then dropping out when my grades weren’t good.
My parents both graduated by their early 20s and had me at 23; I’ll be 29 soon and I still live with them working at a Walmart to make ends meet and even with that I’m about to be fired for poor performance. I feel depressed being there because I was given everything in life to be successful and yet I wasted my 20s away being depressed / suicidal. All of my friends all have graduated long ago and have better jobs and I get envious seeing them being successful. All I think about is splattering my brains all over the wall.
I don’t have a plan to follow, every day I’m just hating myself for wasting my best years over stupid shit instead of focusing.
Maybe you just don’t like that shit? I tried a degree but it was so boring that I bailed.
Did some jobs. Worked in a kitchen. Started as a dishwasher, then I became the one who made the salads, then I was the person who managed a food truck for the restaurant then I left because it became boring.
Then I worked at a event firm. I taught people how to use a bow while never having shot a bow in my life. And did a whole bunch of other stuff.
The last thing I did was becoming someone who writes code. Now i am searching for a job as coder. I do that until I get bored and do something else.
My point is that not everybody is made for the “do this one thing you whole life”-thing. And if I would try to force it I would be thinking about killing myself daily. Trust me, I tried.
Maybe that shit isn’t your thing and you are wasting your time because you try to force something you just don’t want to do.
There is no shame in working in retail if you like it. If you don’t like it, try something else until you find something you like. And if, someday, that bores you, do something else.
There is no shame in not “finishing” something. But you should never stagnate. Always keep moving. In which direction is not that important.
And I know that is not easy. But it is you life and if you really want to kill yourself… Well that gives you the freedom to try stuff that scares you. Nothing to lose because you are already dead.