I started uni 2014 and I’ve still yet to finish it because of life BS. Dealing with depression / ADHD has made finishing my degree seem impossible for me to do and I feel like an absolute failure everyday because of it. I wasted many semesters attempting clases and then dropping out when my grades weren’t good.

My parents both graduated by their early 20s and had me at 23; I’ll be 29 soon and I still live with them working at a Walmart to make ends meet and even with that I’m about to be fired for poor performance. I feel depressed being there because I was given everything in life to be successful and yet I wasted my 20s away being depressed / suicidal. All of my friends all have graduated long ago and have better jobs and I get envious seeing them being successful. All I think about is splattering my brains all over the wall.

I don’t have a plan to follow, every day I’m just hating myself for wasting my best years over stupid shit instead of focusing.

  • Blackout@fedia.io
    8·
    2 months ago

    I went and dropped out of college 4 times. never was sure of what I wanted to do until the last time. There was a for-profit college in there that racked up large student debts. Then the great recession happened and I lost a good job and felt like a complete failure with no hope. Exactly your age now. No job, no degree, no path in life.

    I spent the next 5 years with no direction. Working any freelance job I could find. These were the lowest times in my life because I was now in my 30s with no career prospects and no degree. It wasn’t until I was 33 and I figured something to focus on, went back to college while developing my skills and working in the field. Had made it to the final year and at the same time the small startup I was “volunteering” my time for years in started to grow and I had a child. Thought I could do it all but I couldn’t and dropped out for the final and 4th time.

    Discovered then that all those years relying and depending on a college degree to prove who I was , was pointless, wasted time. I was intelligent enough and motivated to keep taking steps forward, no matter how small, even when I didn’t have a clue what I was walking towards. College can help some people focus and reach their goals but we are all different and have different paths. It was formally unheard of to make a high paying career without school, now even high tech companies ignore it for the right person. I didn’t know what I wanted to do at all until one day I knew. You just can’t give up.

    Believe me when I say there is still time. I’m 16 years older than you and I just bought my first home 2 years ago. Take small steps for now. Don’t wait on school to help you finish something, you can start and finish on your own. There are enough materials out there freely that will help. When my life felt the most worthless I figured I might as well do something nice for others so I volunteered designing websites for charities. Find something positive to put into your life and it will help you through these dark times.