WASHINGTON—Doing her best to appear elated while a large, throbbing vein protruded from her forehead, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said she was ‘really, really, really happy’ for Vice President Kamala Harris as she shook the presumptive Democratic nominee’s hand and refused to let go of it. “So, so, so proud of you for this huge accomplishment—there is no one more deserving of this than you,” said a stock-still, unblinking Clinton, who, when panicked advisors quietly asking her to release the presidential candidate’s hand, only widened her smile and clamped her fingers tighter, causing Harris’ bones to audibly crack. “Oh, don’t worry about us. We’re just two strong women having a great time. Ha ha ha. Girl power! Right, Kamala? Just think, you could become the first woman elected to the American presidency! What could possibly be better than that?” At press time, Clinton was reportedly being dragged away after pulling Harris in for a hug and attempting to snap her neck.

I found this satire piece to be absolutely delightful, capturing the potential rage that Hilary kept under wraps after it was announced that Trump won. It was a disappointing time, as that orange clown got the better of a far more fit person to serve in office.

  • mindbleach@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
    8·
    3 months ago

    That’s not how dynasties work. Hillary was Bill Clinton’s peer. She was an influence for why he got into politics, she pushed universal healthcare from early in the 90s, and she was elected to the US senate twice.

    Stop comparing her to anyone’s child, and slap anyone suggesting Michelle Obama get involved.

    • explodicle@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
      2·
      3 months ago

      Honestly I was willing to accept Michelle Obama back when Biden was the nominee, because she had better odds of beating Trump than Biden did. They just need to be more competent than Trump, so… pretty much anyone.