Thank you Nome @NomedaBarbarian

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@NomedaBarbarian on Twitter:

Thinking about how I’ve been lied to as an #ADHD person about what habits are.

That apparently is not what neurotypical folks get to experience.

Habits are things that they do without thinking.

They don’t have to decide to do them. They don’t have to remember to do them. Things just happen, automatically, because they’ve done them enough for that system to engage and make them automatic.

That system…which I lack.

Every single time I have brushed my teeth, it’s been an active choice. I’ve had to devote thought and attention to it. It’s not a routine, it’s not a habit, it’s something that I know is good to do, and hopefully I can remember to do it.

Every single time I exercise, or floss, or pay my rent, or drink water, or say “bless you” when someone sneezes,

It’s because I’ve had to actively and consciously engage the protocol.

It never gets easier.

Just more familiar.

It’s part of my struggle with my weight–exercise never becomes a habit, and every single time I do it, it is exactly as hard as the first time. It takes exactly as much willpower & thought.

I got lied to about how it would just “turn into a habit”. And blamed, when it didn’t.

Drinking water isn’t a habit. Feeding myself isn’t a habit. Bathing isn’t a habit.

I spend so much more energy, so much more time, so much more labor on just managing to maintain my fucking meat suit.

And now you want me to ALSO do taxes?

ON TIME?

  • Reyali@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    Thanks for speaking to the other side, because that’s so hard to believe. I don’t know about everyone with ADHD, but it definitely seems to be a common shared experience. The only habits I do completely without thinking are a) putting my seatbelt on in the car, and b) picking my phone up like 100 times a day. Anything bigger, even something like eating, is something I have to will myself to do.

    And when I’m trying to form a “habit,” like certain types of note taking or task planning at work, no matter how effective it is and how much I like it, I never manage to do it more than about 3 weeks before my brain just completely shuts off that pathway and it’s like I forget that process exists altogether.

    If I don’t put my meds on my nightstand AND have a reminder on my phone, I will forget them most of the time. Daily activity, takes almost no brain power, and it still doesn’t trigger in my head as something I need to do unless I physically see it.

    • FringeTheory999@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      ugh, I constantly forget to eat. People would ask “how the hell can you FORGET to eat, for two days” and I’d be like. “three days… I think”.

      • Reyali@lemm.ee
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        1 year ago

        LOL, relatable. I also had to literally train myself over years to feel hungry, and all that training goes away when I’m really stressed. Living with a partner is the best thing for my eating habits. He needs to eat, so I eat… at least once a day.

        • worldspawn00@kbin.social
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          1 year ago

          The range of ADHD is wild, I’m just always hungry, I have to consciously stop myself from randomly eating any food in my proximity. If there’s a box of crackers, or leftovers in the fridge, I’ll eat them, even if I ate an hour ago, if I don’t make a conscious effort to remind myself that I ate a meal already. Adderall has helped with me being aware of when I’m not actually hungry, but when the drugs wear off in the evening, I have to be careful about cruising the kitchen/pantry.

          • Starbuck@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            A few days late, but I just stumbled across the community. I know that when I was on meds I wouldn’t eat for days. Without meds, I’m just Homer Simpson saying “ooh a piece of candy” all day