Hi, I’m a 21 year old guy and every time I’m outside for example to buy groceries I see so many good looking people (both female and male).
I don’t know what it is but they seem almost perfect, their faces are so beautiful and perfect, their clothes are so stylish and perfect, their hair and make up appearance looks so well groomed and beautiful. (I’m mainly referring to people around my age from Gen Z)
They’re all so confident and wear jewelry etc.
I don’t even have the knowledge how to dress good and stylish as I don’t have a feel for that. I just end up wearing what’s most comfortable for me like random sneakers, sweatpants/shorts and a polo shirt. But even if I was able to dress stylishly my face naturally still looks very average and not like all these other people.
I wonder why people look so perfect nowadays. When I look at old video tapes or pictures (like from the 1900’s) people seem to have looked way more average like me. Why could this be? Is the pressure from social media a reason because that’s why I’m purposefully not on there.
And honestly I also don’t feel like putting so much time and effort into my looks as I think this is only secondary in life and I mainly value human connections. Obviously I put some extra time into it for some occasions where I put on contact lenses, creams, a little make up (one that’s for men of course), hair gel/spray and perfume but even then I feel like I don’t look as good as many of these people I see on a regular basis.
Part of what it points to is what you’re currently paying attention to. You don’t notice all the people who aren’t what you consider “good looking”.
Later in life, you’ll notice how many people have children in strollers, or drive fancy cars, or can afford houses. You may start noticing how many people own dogs, run regularly outside, or never look up from their phones.
It’s a form of selection bias; you tend to see the people that are most likely to catch your attention, and ignore the rest.
Try an exercise: start checking to see how many people you see in public smile with their eyes.
Germans don’t smile without good reason. That’s inefficient.
Germans don’t smile with their mouths; they generally do smile with their eyes. People who only look at mouths generally miss that.
We do? Huh. Okay, but not without good reason.
Of course not. That would be wasteful.
… being happy is a good enough reason.
That’s energy that could more productively go into increasing the Bruttosozialprodukt.
spoiler
You realise I’m being very unserious and making fun of stereotypes, yes?
come to my house, i look like shit
Okay good to know I’m not the only one😅
Is this the opposite of “come at me bro” ?
You’re horny
Just saying other people look beautiful and better than me doesn’t mean I’m horny. This realization wasn’t meant on a sexual basis. But I guess nowadays people always take stuff like this the wrong way.
But the comment is still funny lmao
Yeah, it was 95% sarcasm. But don’t underestimate the evolutionary urge to procreate, it’s one of the most powerful forces on the planet.
this is predominantly a knowledge base: dressing well is knowledge, makeup is knowledge, styling your hair is knowledge, skin care is knowledge, healthy food habits, exercise habits, and so on. you can acquire this knowledge either through self-help videos / social media, or spending money to talk to professionals, or whatever other research works for you (but the two aforementioned approaches are most common)
I live in rural America and can’t say I have the same experience as you do. I (34F) dress like a “bum” 99% of the time (T-Shirts, jeans/leggings, hair thrown in a bun) and thats how most of my busy friends dress too when they are not at work. However I do think if you live in a city or just a more populated area that its realistic to think you may end up on camera at any point during the day, and you want to look good for that, so you could feel compelled to try and always look your best.
Every once in a while, I do get full glam to go to the local grocery store because I really don’t go anywhere else, and I want a reason to “dress up” and I can imagine that there’s a lot of that going on too.
I live in a small town but in Germany. From hearing what you said about that rural place in America makes me wish to live there too. It would be so relieving to put looks secondary and see more people embracing comfort and not constantly stressing out about looks.
But from the videos I’ve seen online it looks like Americans often look even better than here in Germany with perfect white teeth and everything (even from videos recorded in grocery stores like Kroger and Walmart).
But like you said the factor of “dressing up” most likely plays a role here too.
But from the videos I’ve seen online it looks like Americans often look even better than here
Let me assure you that this is not the case. People of Walmart might be a better representation of much of the U.S.
Would people there (in the US) care if I don’t put much effort into my style and wear random sweatpants with a random (polo) shirt?
Nobody outside of churches and expensive restaurants really care how you dress as long as the important bits are covered.
Anywhere you are, some will care some will not. This is part of how we filter one another out
White teeth are commonplace with people that post videos and images of themselves online on a daily basis. I would hesitate to refer to any videos with an influencer vibe as being reflective of the average in North America.
There should be a name for this kind of bias. Influencer bias, celebrity bias? Something else?
Sometimes that’s regional. Are you located in Bavaria? I don’t know any German man that use makeup at all.
I very very very rarely use just a concealer because I have extremely dark under eye circles from very thin skin. I found it on Shark Tank where they showcased that male make up line. But I literally only use a microscopic amount to get rid of the worst darkening, that’s it.
It depends on where you are. I just drove thru a college campus the other day for the first time in years, and for it being one of the first really nice days, I have to say the student body was… Underwhelming
That’s hormones and spring for you.
It’s almost May. The mating season.
It’s gonna be May!
The Mayting season, even.
You’re obviously not from round here… (Gesturing vaguely at shuffling hordes of very plain people in my town. Self included. I fit right in.)
Seriously though, comparing yourself with strangers is a terrible idea. That said, if you do want to smarten up a bit, I’d suggest going to a menswear store and asking an assistant to assist. Explain your dilemma, ask them to help you put together one outfit, “smart casual” would be a good start. Good luck!
I don’t know you, but there’s a chance that someone else had this exact realization after seeing you
Now don’t quote me on this, it’s based on my memory from an art history lesson roughly 20 years ago (Kunst-Grundkurs im Saarland, Ü). But, if I remember correctly, there is an inverted relationship between fashion (meaning the way people present themselves in general) and the economy. When the economy is booming, people tend to go with simple, understated shapes and colours. When the economy is slowing down, they tend to go overboard, putting more effort into their looks, wearing more noticeable jewellery etc (possibly to keep up appearances that they’re still fine?).
Again, these are tendencies, not strict rules. But maybe that’s what you’re noticing?
Idk as someone who looks like shit its because I have far too much social anxiety so I dont usually go outside, also you might just be extremely horny
My guess is you are down bad and bisexual. Rub one out and then check again.
What? I’m not bisexual. I can say a male looks good without being gay.
That would have been required for my theory, so I guess you deflated it.
Most likely, you’ve just started noticing what the world has already been like for decades, if not centuries.
Taking care of yourself is of course important, but I think many people over do it in an unhealthy manner. It’s good to be clean and look nice, but you don’t have to make that the central theme of your life.
IMO, comfort and practicality are also important, but you don’t have to look like you’re still chilling at home watching a movie and munching popcorn. There are good compromises out three.
You see appearance as ‘secondary in life’ and value ‘human connections’
They value appearance first, far above love for one another
OP seems to care about appearances a lot, they’re just not good at it themselves.
If he’s really wearing sweatpants with polo shirts then he might be too far gone.
What do you mean? What’s the problem with wearing a shirt with sweatpants?
Nuthin pal. You’re good. You do you.
No I wanna know because I’m self conscious and wanna improve my look and take advice happily. If you go as far and say I’m “too far gone” then you can also tell me what the reason for that is. For me a polo and sweatpants/shorts are normal casual wear.
Polo shirts are “dressy casual”. Sweat pants are gym clothes. Mixing the two is a big fuckup. People might tend to take the position that fashion is binary: either you like to walk around like you’re going to the academy awards, or you don’t give a fuck. The reality is that there is a place in the middle where it’s not really fashion we’re talking about; it’s just being “put together”. There is no need to don a silk shirt and tie to go the supermarket. But on the other hand, walking around in daily life like you just rolled out of bed is dis-empowering. If you present yourself to the world with a DGAF attitude, then the world will simply DGAF you back. Understand that every time you go out in public you are showcasing who you are by how you look and dress. Every time is an opportunity. Maybe you meet a new friend or lover. Maybe the person behind you in line that you chat with is potentially your new boss. Putting yourself together before you go out is not about projecting a false or smug image; it’s about projecting care and confidence. When people see that you give a fuck about how you present yourself, then they conclude that you probably give a fuck about other things too; maybe things they care about. Don’t wear sweat pants or gym clothes out and about as daily drivers. Pair that Ralph Loren Polo with shorts, or with nice fitting jeans.
It’s not about sweatpants and polo or not. It’s about which sweatpants with which polo shirt
I’m literally trying to do that middle approach. It’s just that I don’t wanna spend the majority of my life thinking how I should dress especially when I’m just going to the grocery store, as life is way too short for that.
But like I said I value comfort and it’s not like I don’t care what others think, it’s just that it’s not too important for me and everyone has their own taste anyways.
For example I don’t like jeans at all for me personally, comfort and style wise (even though I think it looks very beautiful on others).
Matching the Polo with shorts is literally in the first image I sent you and that’s a common fit I wear in the summer. When wearing sweatpants I often go with a hoodie or hoodie jacket and these are very common things.
So I really don’t see the problem. I’m not saying it’s bad that others put so much effort and thought into their appearance I’m just saying it’s not my thing and what I’m good at as this would exhaust me. But I agree with your point that anything could be a potential chance and it’s important how you present yourself.
Seems like a common thing
what we see here is
step 1: be fit and good looking. step 2: wear anything you want and look good (it’s not about the clothes)
The picture of the guy wearing the green sweat pants is wearing a t-shirt, so that’s not a fuckup. But the guy wearing the grey Izod with the sweatpants and sneakers is a major fuckup. A major big fuckup that says “I’m clueless”. If you want to spend your life lonely and depressed, go ahead wear that.
It’s just that I don’t wanna spend the majority of my life thinking how I should dress especially when I’m just going to the grocery store, as life is way too short for that.
This is where you’re not getting it… you think about it once. Get your style choices and wardrobe sorted. Then after that it’s just putting on clothes.
Only one of those is actually what I’d describe as “polo shirt and sweatpants” - first one isn’t really wearing sweatpants (and doesn’t have super hairy legs like many men) and the third one isn’t wearing a polo shirt. And yeah, the look might work if you’re fit and at least know how to pick clothes that match (color and fit) both with each other and with the way your body, hair etc. look. But the way you’re describing yourself doesn’t really sound like it.
they do?
source please
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guessin you dont do much source citing.
owell
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i was considering the academic source citing which is used to facilitate verification of facts… not an armchair ‘just look around!’
so the truth is you really have no academically verifiable source; which means its just your personal viewpoint.
