Today, Attorney General Pamela Bondi released the following statement:

“Luigi Mangione’s murder of Brian Thompson — an innocent man and father of two young children — was a premeditated, cold-blooded assassination that shocked America. After careful consideration, I have directed federal prosecutors to seek the death penalty in this case as we carry out President Trump’s agenda to stop violent crime and Make America Safe Again.”

  • Neverclear@lemmy.dbzer0.com
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    15
    ·
    2 days ago

    By pubicly and officially assigning guilt before the trial, the chief law enforcement officer of the federal government has just:

    1. Tainted every juror that could serve on this case
    2. Proven her incompetence to the legal community
    3. Bought a place in the Trump family mausoleum
    • ijedi1234@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      2 days ago

      According to the Shitcurity Handbook of BeeStation:

      • Rule 1: Everybody is guilty even when proven innocent.
      • Rule 4: When in doubt, whoever you may be dealing with is a traitor. Execute him.
      • Rule 5: If your weapon has a kill setting, use it. Only in death is a criminal truly stopped.
      • Rule 8: Only through death is justice served.
      • Rule 51: Anyone accused of being a traitor by a crew member must be executed on the spot. Do not give them a chance to weasel their way out of justice by talking things out. It’s the only way that you can be sure the traitorous criminal scum are all stopped.
      • Rule 54: Theft, pornography reading, trespassing, and not liking you are all signs of revolutionary activity. Beat their skulls in until they remember their true allegiance.
      • Rule 55: Any massacres, ethnic cleansings, purgings, underground permabrig prisoner fights, or general mass-murder orchestrated by superiors is to be immediately sanctioned and, if necessary, unquestioningly enforced.
      • Rule 66: If you murder someone on the gulag, it doesn’t really count as murder.
        • ijedi1234@sh.itjust.works
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          2 days ago

          It is an excerpt from a satirical booklet, created from the tendencies of people who power trip as a security officer in the game Space Station 13.

          I am spreading it around because I have seen a remarkable similarity between those security officers and the people who run the US government. The only real difference is that the security officers are eager to do cruel things with their own two hands.

          • fondue@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            3
            ·
            2 days ago

            Now I know - thanks. Legit thought it was some subtle fascist agitation. It’s difficult to intuit fiction these days.

            Art || Life.