For the past year or so I have been incredibly stressed and I have/had no outlet other than drinking. I have/had been drinking most of the days of the week.
As those who have dabbled in such abuse of alcohol already know, getting wasted as a reprieve is temporary and you feel somewhat good only for a fraction of the time you are drunk. Then you feel like crap when you crash and most likely a good part of the next day. So not is alcohol not the solution to the problem, it exacerbates it. And there is the damage to health that comes with it.
I have tried quitting multiple times over the period but have given in every time so far. The only logical thing to do is try again. So I have been trying again. This past week I have only had two beers. I did this without flying off the handle which is a good thing. I have started working out again. This time I am taking it a bit easy so that I don’t burn out. Over the course of heavy drinking I had not been exercising at all. It’s probably me being hypochondriac but I felt like my heart was getting weaker. It wasn’t because of anything serious but when I had to exert myself like when climbing stairs or having to jog or sprint for a bit, I could notice my body not being up to the task which disappointed me. So I have started doing cardio (treadmill running) and reduced the meathead weightlifting routine. I managed to outdo my expectations during cardio and was able to jog at 8 speed for 50 minutes (two episodes of Scavenger’s Reign). 8 what? I don’t know the units but it felt good nonetheless.
It’s highly likely I will fail again. Things in the past fall apart when my old injuries flare up while working out so I will be trying to make sure that doesn’t happen. If it happens I will pay attention that it doesn’t make me spiral by maybe doing something different like walking. Hopefully after my body normalises I can go back to the occasional recreational drinking because I do enjoy doing that while watching a movie, football or just listening to music. I feel like it is taboo to say this as someone trying to quit drinking.
Moderated consumption is a valid goal that many aim for- it’s the 12-step programs that make this taboo, but their success rate isn’t stellar.
I’ve been dialing back as I approach forty. I was in a band during my late 20s through mid 30s, and was drinking 2-5 beers a night (25 a week) pretty easy. That’s not heavy alcoholic level, but even at the time I knew that was more than was healthy. Now I’m aiming for 5 drinks a week, and have been hitting that goal half the time. When I miss that goal, it’s only by a few, so that is still a drastic improvement over where I was.
The things I try to keep in mind are impact and enjoyment. How am I affected by my level of consumption? (Heartburn, cost, grumpy when I can’t have it.) Am I enjoying myself when I do drink? At my height, no, I just wanted something carbonated and malty. Now I do enjoy the drinks I have- and put a lot of intentionality and anticipation into what I select.
It sounds like you’re well on the way to a healthier relationship with alcohol, keep it up! Stressing about the missed goals isn’t as helpful as focusing the next one, so don’t beat yourself up. You’re already doing better than you have, and know how to get where you want.
Yeah I stopped stressing about missed goals after the third or so failure since it’s counterproductive at best.
The enjoyment aspect is true. Disregarding how addiction can make it difficult to function normally while sober, engaging in constant binge drinking makes the drinking extremely unfun too. There is no point to it at that point.
ex-alchoholic with three suicide attempts (all in my teenage years, im in my 30s now, dont worry about me) giving my perspective as someone who now is not one and can drink 1-2 times a month without it being an issue, il give you what helped me;
1 - weed and psychedelics helped slow my drinking the hell down and gave me a different crutch that reframed my perspective and put me onto a path of recovery, not for everyone granted
2- positive reinforcement - anytime id think about booze, feel like drinking or did drink when I was trying not too, I made sure to be nice to myself internally and frame it as just another step toward my end goal; if you neg yourself it just leads to a shame/guilt spiral and can lead to binging.
3- ditch the problem friends - if you have friends who you associate with heavy drinking, its time to let them go; environment is often the biggest factor in quitting, if your social life is hinged on enabling other addicts you will always fail.
4- targeted therapy - self explanatory, work out what brain worms you got
gym/working out is good, keep on it; from experience though its not enough.
good luck comrade, I hope you can look back on this in a year and see how far you’ve come.
you wont ‘fail’ if you drink again, the fact that you get to the point where you hold out for as long as you can without drinking isnt a failure, you wouldnt call yourself not hitting a time goal in a sprint a failure, just another day where you came closer to the end goal you get me? failing is giving up entirely.
3 is not a problem. I am trying 2 right now. 1 too kinda but I will quit smoking soon too. 4 I can’t do because mental healthcare is nonexistent here.
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
1 too kinda but I will quit smoking soon too
I dont smoke weed, I vape and eat it; would recommend. (dry herb vape + bong, its nice)
Also seconding shrooms. It can be very effective in treating addictive habits and making you conscious of deeper motives in your behavior you may not be aware of.
I don’t have any relevant advice for you other than to make sure your general health is in tip-top shape to keep your mood up as you are quitting. Also keep yourself occupied in a public space. Due to the ongoing respiratory disease crisis this can be a tall order, but find somewhere to study. Just study anything you remember grabbing you.
Get some potassium powder and take it every morning. It can come in a salty form that’s nice for eggs (oof just remembered nevermind about those right now) or oatmeal. Focus your whole diet on protein, fiber, and omega-3s. Vitamins actually really really work. Specifically B12, C, magnesium, zinc, and potassium are noticeable the first day. The FDA restricts potassium supplements to a pathetic, tiny amount for some reason. You need literally 10-40 times the amount in a “potassium supplement” - dietary sources are best but I love money too much.
I’ve never been a drinker, but I know this is what makes being sober feel like shit as a baseline for most people even in the absence of stressors. There is no amount of money I would take to go back to how I felt before I got this nailed down. It’s a completely different way of being, it just takes a week to really kick in.
I hope you can succeed and remember that punishing yourself does nothing and is easy. A bold but methodical approach will change your life.
Thanks. I’ll look into micronutrient supplements at a later point.
know this is what makes being sober feel like shit as a baseline for most people even in the absence of stressors
I think coming to terms with reality as it is perceived while sober is an important part of being able to wean off substance abuse. There is a bit in Disco Elysium about it:
Congrats – you’re sober. It will take a while for your body to remember how to metabolize anything that isn’t sugar from alcohol, so you’re going to be pretty ravenous soon. Eat plenty. You can expect your coordination and balance to improve in a couple of weeks. In two months, you might start sleeping like a normal person. Full recovery will take years, though. It’ll be depressing. And it’ll be boring. Don’t expect any further rewards or handclaps. This is how normal people are all the time.
My outlook isn’t as bleak as this but there is a kernel of truth in there.
Loath as I am to receive advice from Estonians with overwrought writing tendencies, that really seems spot on. It doesn’t have any unnecessary flourishes, Twitter references, or imitation of political savviness. It sounds like something the writers actually have experience with.
Iodine in most regular multivitamins seems to help a lot if I take it consistently. I don’t have random mood swings like I used to, so I can tell when it’s just work kicking my ass. Not saying buy anything crazy or expensive, apart from a kilogram of pure potassium LMAO. Can also just eat spinach, beans, potatoes.
I wish you luck in terms of stressors in your life fucking off, to make this as easy as possible. Protect yourself from freaky things if you can. Know us strangers on the internet are invested in your wellbeing. I am just happy to see someone even trying to be less miserable. I have seen people walk away from car accidents without any desire to kick the liquor. This is you doing this, and that is badass. 👍
I am with you comrade, drink has been a problem for me too, last year I went to a comedy gig to later snort coke with stranger then drink with the local homeless in a sketchy park. Woke up in my bed covered in leafs and twigs. Then new years, celebrating at a friends can’t remember the count down, woke up in my bed with my heart beating like a fucked clock and a head full of bricks and like many times before I have decided I will quite drinking , this time I feel I really will.
If you ever need someone to talk to I am always happy to chat.
Good luck, ive never been a solo drinker so i can’t really relate but i did use to drink very heavily in social events due to anxiety. Working out definitely helps, hope it works out for you.
I used to do this too. I enjoyed social events more when I was drinking and was more fun to be around too. When sober I’m constantly on edge lmao
Not sure what you have tried so far but it certainly helps to have a group of friends that could help you get into any sports. Using sports as an excuse to stop you from mentally conceding to drinking works for a ton of people.
Example: I have friends who used to jog with a group or go cycling in the morning. If they ever go out, they will use sports as a reason to say no and leave early. Some others just go to boxing classes or the gym in the afternoons.
What really will work for you is to replace drinking with something else as an escape for stress. Having ways to relief stress is important.
That’s a good idea. I might start playing football again soon. I know of a neighbour around my age who plays pickup once a week.
Nice! I wish you success and hope you can find something stable that could relieve you from stress. Stress tends to be the strongest trigger for bad habits and also a good opportunity for good ones as well.
Fair enough. I have been sober for half a year now and it can be a hard thing to do. I had several attempts in the past.
Recreational usage should be fine as a goal. Not everyone wants to stop forever and if they can control their drinking why should they?
I don’t know really. Feels like thinking about drinking in the future when the short term goal is to cut down heavily could hinder with the goal. I don’t have a good explanation.
Well one thing that could help is to just focus on a day to day basis. Saying: ‘Iwill not drink today’ is easier than thinking about forever.
Best of luck.
I am no big fan of beer, even my classmates asked to drink one shot of popular Philippine lager.
I don’t smoke. I asked my classmate how he successfully quit during his high school.
I haven’t been a solo drinker for a long time. You need someone to enjoy drinking.
Thank you for your understanding.
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That’s not the direction I want the discussion to take here