I like to pile my coat and tote bag and purse all in a big heap on my lap. That way, if I see a cute guy, I can quickly dump all my shit everywhere and act all flustered so maybe he’ll come help me.

And then we both try to pick up the same book at the same time, our hands brush against one another, we lock eyes, he instantly proposes, I say yes, everyone claps…

Honestly, watch out for people who don’t put their stuff in the seat next to them. It might be a trap.