Nevermind, looks like nearly the same situation. Digital hugs sent back as symbol of solidarity comrade o7

Sort of had a similar experience this april. First time I was into someone in a good 3 years. I delayed my rejection by a month and a half due to being too afraid to talk to her again (rejection is a very strong word, she just wasn’t interested, and she was almost too kind with how she said it). I really want to be over it, but I have way too hard of a time letting go of things (in general) and now I just feel like complete shit. Just needed a place to say all this, I’ve got no real friends left and no idea how to make more. The more time goes on the harder it is to interact in general, talking to someone I was crushing on took what felt like a herculean amount of bravery and the literal perfect coditions to happen. This is the only place where I feel like I can speak to people without being terrifed (due to feelings, growing introversion or general anxiety, and the fact that I am likely autistic and am completely unable to guess what people are going to think and say). Doubting my own asexuality is just another thing I do not want right now. For now I think a way to get back on track with everything is to start reading theory again, and maybe doing something else fulfilling. Sorry for the overly long infodump, I just need anyone to see this, I have learned that in abscence of help simply being heard helps me deal with everything. One thing for certain is that lemmygrad gives me a little hope. The same kind of hope I felt when I first became a marxist not too long ago.

I’m not going anywhere comrades, and as for relationships, don’t lose hope comrade, you’ll find someone sooner or later. o7

Every once in a while I think about how easy it would be for me to get ICE’d in the US if I went. Country I’m from has a red passport. If I speak my native language it is quite likely I will be searched. (“Friend” of mine briefly got taken away for questioning by ICE at the airport (Seattle if anyone is wondering) for speaking the same language, was let go after). There is no way I will keep a straight face for the “are you and have you been associated with any communist parties” question. If I ever went I would probably get a different phone, throw away my old one just in case. Not that I want to go to the US, but I have always wanted to visit NY and Seattle.

We actually have a continent-wide leaderboard for rasicm. Balkan countries are usually at the top. Racism isn’t a small thing here, it’s the norm for everyone (that isn’t Romani) While Romani people live on the streets, unable to earn enough to eat, we call them slurs and act like some sort of superior beings and treat them like human garbage. It’s disgusting to see.

scotland, but in the middle of nowhere

Right on the money, comrade.

He is definetly pro-Putin. Afaik he is typical balkan levels of corrupt, meaning completely unredeemable. If anything do some research if you can into the protests that have been going on for a while. Unfortunately the only non state aligned media is backed by CNN as far as I know, so do take that in mind.

I guess I didn’t elaborate far enough in terms of what I meant, but thanks for the explanation.

Is it just me or is the USian solution to any sort of bodily/mental issue immediate medication? Like with pretty hard drugs. ADHD? Put 'em on adderall. Cough? Some syrup with a potent opioid in it. Either this is my straight-edgeness talking or the pharmaceutical industry trying to get the entire population hooked on the infinite number of addictive shit they make. Not that I am anti-medicine in any way, but you really should always know what you are putting in your body.

Ground news I guess, but then again that’s paid and something I’d consider biased as far as it portrays “left” and “right” wing sources. “Left” outlets are generally just liberal, while “right” ones are just conservative.

is that… THE ANARCHIST CHINA KNOWER HAIR?!

The education system taught me alienation, not through theory, but praxis. I spend 6 hours a day paying close attention to lessons, and spend the next 8 studying. Every day. I am not burnt out, I am now the surface of Mercury of burnt out. And no wonder I barely have any will to work anymore. Now I spend summer breaks just rotting in the heat and not moving.