This. Except I’m not limited to authority figures and that’s sometimes very hard to handle. Like if a friend wants to invite me on monday but I already have something planned with another friend that same day I sometimes feel like giving the real reason would make them jealous. Yes, I know I shouldn’t do this, and I’m working on it, but it’s not easy. It’s especially hard when the real reason is something like “spending time with you in particular is very stressful for me and I can’t handle it”.

Not speaking for all of them but sometimes just feeling good about yourself is enough. You can even tell them how you appreciate their efforts (assuming you do)

The diag criteria are an ad hoc thing that only exists so that the society has a systematic way of deciding wether a given individual is autistic or not. Someone who just barely misses the criteria to be positevely diagnosed could very well have a lot in common with those who meet slightly more criteria.

Think of it like the administrative criteria to be considered “poor” in a given country: it helps to decide who can benefit from financial help and such, or to have statistics on how fair is the ressource distribution through the time, but it doesn’t mean that your life will switch the very moment your income crosses the limit.