Right Libertarian -> Socdem -> Demsoc -> ML
In my early days (late teens-early twenties) I’d say there were even times I flirted with fascist ideology, but in retrospect, I was a deeply unhappy and insecure person and that was manifesting in my politics in very unhealthy ways.
To go somewhat deeper, the term football historically just meant a sport played on foot - typically played primarily by commoners. Historically, different locations had pretty wildly different versions of football, and to this day there are some hyper local, very obscure versions of it played in some places. “Soccer” was simply a slangy shortening of “association football” and was actually the common term for that specific version in Britain until some point (can’t remember when). At some point, the British switched to “football” while the US stayed with “soccer” - probably to differentiate it with American football, which is very significantly more popular in the US. I’m not entirely sure why the British made the switch; one thing I’ve read in the past is that much of the rest of the world was already using the term “football” (or their language’s respective word/pronunciation for it) for association football, so the British switched to be in line with them.
Then of course you have other relatively common versions of football, like American football (mentioned already), rugby football (now commonly just “rugby” - started as a form of football played at Rugby College), Australian football, and some others.
I’ve been back and forth on this for some time. My partner and I have discussed leaving, but we both seem to always waffle on it because we don’t want to leave our family and friends.
I’ve found that many people stop emotionally maturing at about 18-25 years old. I’d like to believe that there’s some way to break these people out of this “rut” - possibly through class consciousness or some other thing that might open them up to more introspective thought patterns.
I was admittedly racist and Islamophobic and a bit of a bully as a teenager until I was about 19 or 20, having grown up in a very very rural American town where that was basically the norm. I found my way to where I am now via years of introspection, exposure to more diversity, and opening my mind to trying to understand things like class and anti-imperialism (probably initially by good faith exposure to Israeli apartheid and the Palestinian genocide). I’m definitely not a “finished product” by any means, but I’m a much better person than I was back then (over a decade ago now). This leads me to hold out some sliver of hope that there is some way to move the needle with the people who are like I was when I was younger.
At least for people with my background, I do think there are a surprising number of them that would be open to left wing beliefs if you could somehow break through the endless layers of right wing propaganda. If you talk to enough of them, they will occasionally say something that sounds like they’re essentially paraphrasing Das Kapital, but somehow they come to the conclusion that the solution is hating immigrants and lowering taxes for the rich.
Don’t let your emotions turn you into an unwilling consumer. If you feel your phone is going to imminently crap the bed, then get a new one. If not, then don’t. Also, phones don’t change much generation to generation anymore, so just get a used/refurbished one from a couple generations ago. It’ll be nearly identical and save you probably upwards of $600-700 (or your local equivalent currency).
I feel for you comrade. I’ve had a very different journey than you but I’ve struggled with loneliness and lost friendships as well. I think an important thing to do in the short term is to reach out to your old friends. Some may be uninterested, but you might be surprised how easily many dormant friendships can be rekindled - I’ve had friends that I hadn’t spoken to for well over 5 years that picked back up like we didn’t miss a beat once I actually built up the nerve to reach out. This could be helpful to getting you out of a negative feedback loop.
This post has made me lose some faith in humanity. Congratulations.