Right now, I’d say the biggest beneficial thing you can do is just experiment. Pick a few things that look interesting and find some beginner resources to dip your toes in. It’s important not to over-analyze and be too critical of these new pursuits in the beginning. My problem was, quite frequently, I’d talk myself out of something before I really explored it to even decide with confidence if it really was for me or not.
Allow yourself to just go with an idea without judgement. Reserve your criticism for later when you have enough information to make a informed decision on if it is for you. Although, be aware that there are times when you can intuit your interest and desire based off of how it makes you feel early on, just don’t be so quick to pivor away because sometimes it’s just the learning curve of trying something new, and when you power through the initial discomfirt you find that you DO like whatever it is.
Bottom line: don’t feel as if you need to rush. With some exploring and experimentation you’ll find something that really resonates with you. For me that was writing and it’s been incredibly refreshing.
Good luck, comrade ;)
There’s a book I just learned of from the Rev Left podcast called: “Lenin’s Electoral Strategy from Marx and Engels through the Revolution of 1905: The Ballot, the Streets - or Both” by August Nimtz, that you might be interested in. It discusses Lenin’s feelings on parlimentarianism, I haven’t got a chance to read through it yet, but it sounds like it addresses the same concerns you’re stating.
Here’s the preface: http://www2.hhh.umn.edu/uthinkcache/gpa/globalnotes/Nimtz - Lenin-Preface Vol. 1.pdf
And here’s a link to the book itself:https://www.haymarketbooks.org/books/1385-the-ballot-the-streets-or-both
I don’t know the policy here on ‘high seas’ material, but I can PM you a link to a digital copy if you want ;)