Feelings come and go. I’m pretty sure I’d break down if I felt boiling rage every time I read about another atrocity committed by the empire today, or in the past. But I know that I care. I can’t read about it without feeling something. Persistent strong feelings though, I don’t think are really sustainable as an ongoing thing. The reverse example of your hatred situation being how people in long-term relationships will shift over time from super strong lovey dovey feelings to more of a sustained, nurtured affection, or even “fall out of love”.

Impermanence is a defining part of our existence, as is (in the dialectical materialist view) things changing form via transition and negation and so on.

So I guess what I’m getting at is, it makes sense that you would not stay in a state of super visceral hatred forever. And the beliefs you have, and knowledge you possess about fascists, will still be there in moments of immediate crisis (like the type of moments when fight/flight/freeze/fawn mode kicks in). So in those moments, especially if you are more rested, I’m sure the feelings will return in one way or another as they are needed. Conserving and managing our energy does matter and you don’t have to prove you’re a real fash hater by feeling hatred for them constantly or whatever.

Hate in general is one of those things where I can see the purpose of it in dealing with truly atrocious systems and behavior, like with righteous anger, but it doesn’t need to define us for it to serve a purpose. And, in fact, when it is defining us, is it even worth it? I think we deserve better than to be defined by hate. It is, after all, a great protective love that can motivate righteous anger in the first place. And to be clear, I don’t mean this in some “you will be corrupted by hate” kind of way, more like, about what is a sustainable and humane way for us to live. We need people who can carry the fight through. Martyrs can’t give marching orders.